Showing posts with label love my life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love my life. Show all posts

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

"Someone keeps moving my chair" -TMBG

A must see.



Warning:  a little deeper than normal.  no, worries, if you back out now.  The video was the good part.


I distinctly remember sitting in my biology class my junior year in high school. I got to first period early, as was usually the case, when I drove EF to school with me. The girl, she liked had to be EARLY. I was wearing a striped Ralph Lauren "polo" shirt with a pair of 501 denim Levi's. That morning. changed. my. life. A conversation over-heard by my [awesome] biology teacher between EF & I. If only I could find his address or phone number. I'm sure he is on Facebook. ;) I would call and thank him.


He begged me to trust him and open up to him and his wife [who was a councilor in the downstairs office]. Which was no small task, given the circumstances.

Life. changing. defining. moment.

Never shared 100% of what actually happened [with anyone]. I'm fine and happy with that. I, for the most part, talk too much. Way too much. I like knowing. I have a "thing". A "thing" between me and my Father in Heaven. Just us.

Make no mistake . . . .

Home was the one place where I was safe. But my fear [of dealing] still consumed me at home.

I was so afraid that by talking about certain things with my mom and dad, home would no longer be a place where I could forget about what I was trying to hide.

There were/have been a few times where I honestly thought life was too hard, too painful to survive. I'll call this young [or not-so young] and stupid of me. Thankfully, my parents told me that, no matter what burdens life dished out, there's nothing - nothing - that's too difficult to survive.

I still have those fleeting moments where I cling to those words.

The "pain" of my early years has actually done a few wonderful things for me. It's made me incredibly resilient where hearsay is concerned. These days, I can give a flying fish what others [99.4% of them anyway] say or think about me. It may has made me quite confrontational but I'm fine with that.  I've "got my [own] back", if needed.

It has made me extremely compassionate and supportive of certain communities/causes.

I often say, "I am grateful for everything I've experienced." It's a true statement. And what I've gone through . . . . it probably looks like a spring day in May, skipping in fresh, just mowed grass, while picking tulips ...... to others. ;)

I am grateful I weathered an extremely trying situation that cemented my confidence and gave me steel-like resilience, at least 344 days of the year. What? ........ I am human. I have "poor me" days. "This sucks" days. And "I suck" days. Days, I wish someone would STOP "moving my chair".

No matter your challenge in life - [and we all have them . . . . each and every one of us] whether it be loss, harassment, grief, heartbreak or another trying time.

I promise this - - - - it will get better.

Because. each of us. we are the ones who can make it better. And me . . . . . apparently, I like a challenge.

Now if I can just go find my *&%#@$# chair.

Happy Wednesday to ALL!!