2nd - I apologize.
3rd - stop reading if you are feeling sensitive.
okay, that's all the warning you get.
I'm freaking tired.
I'm c r a n k y .
I'm annoyed.
I'm all sorts of emotional.
I'll cry telling you one thing . . . then
- I've been uninvited to "field day". so fine, I was never invited [whatever] but I was going to go. "Mom, we'll hang out tonight okay?"
Peanut: well it's boring.
Me: I want to see you
P: mom, you have a race Sunday & you can't wear heels on the field.
Me: ha!! I'll wear my smelly sneaks!
P: let's just hang out tonight.
- Door opens. Peanut exits. I bawl. I just got Guantanamo-ed.
- I woke up at 3:41 [for a total sleep time of 4:35] Please say this has something to do with the insta-tears above.
- If one more person tells me, "your body is just made to run". It. will. not. be. pretty.
So PLEASE don't ride it off as being in my "genes". I have yet to hear a pianist be told. You're a great pianist - good thing you were blessed with those great finger genes.
- Don't assume my life is easy because I "only have one child" . I'm not elaborating on that one because I will end up offending someone and that is NOT my intention.
- I don't always think things out in depth [or possibly as I should]. This bothers
somea few. I work way better when I shoot from the hip. You see I have this condition, "Paralysis by Analysis" . enough. said. - Some people think they know what's better for me than I do. I get this to a point. You can call me naive. blind. heck, even crazy. But. I've. freaking. got. this.
Hope. guides. me.
That's all I've got. But. it. is. a. big. thing. And it's working . . . for me.
Got anything you want to vent about?
I'm a
68 comments:
your body is just made to run
i'm sorry em. sending you a big (virtual, though not less effective) hug! take a nap today and do something extra special for your 'hangout' tonight (so she feels really guilty for uninviting you to field day.) I love you and know that hope will guide you to peace today. xo, n
OH SNAP! Yes I just did ;) AND I WAS FIRST!!!!!!
You have a little lady on your hands now :) I remember growing up and un-inviting my parents to EVERYTHING. Don't take it personally (too late) she loves you, but she is forming her own identity now and becoming her own person. This is healthy for her.
That being said, can you hide behind a trash can or a car to watch at least =D
I would LOVE to know who the F told you that you were made to run?! LOOK AT ME! If people honestly think that running fast is a "natural" thing, then they are morons. In fact quite possibly the stupidest people to grace this planet.
You bust your ass. You don't post your mileage and laugh at everyone because you did it, you post because you are proud you accomplished it and busted your butt to do it.
Haters will hate.
You and me were just made to run :) You and me have worked our butts off to get where we are.
Rock on sista from anotha mista.
Nothing but smiles and happy thoughts (unless you channel your anger into your running).
"...you can't wear heels on the field!"
OK, yeah, Peanut is a keeper. At least somebody keeps you grounded!
Oh my heart is breaking for you. I do not want that day to come. My kids still let me kiss on them in front of their friends and my little boy still wants my hugs.
My tummy did a flip thinking of the day that I'm not the coolest anymore :-(
I'm not looking forward to the day when my kids no longer want me around. Not one bit.
(((hugs))) It's ok...
so are you saying that you actually had to work for those sub 3:30 marathong times I just dream of?? and those abs too? those were not some genetic gift from God? So you don't run crazy miles on the TM for fun?
I don't get it. I'm confused...
Well, I have some great news for ya and it may or may not make you feel better.
I remember when my son decided I was not cool to hang out with anymore. Man, that hurt! But guess what, they come back around. He hangs out with us quite a bit now and it is nice. Of course, I had to suffer through the teen years. So just know there is light at the end of the tunnel!
As to your running, I have no doubt in my mind that you work hard. So congrats for working your ass off. That is huge and I am impressed!
Hugs!
Ive said it before, I'll fight to be my sons hero. Because I dread the day I'm not.And this too shall come. However I also know there will be a day of return, just as there has been for me.
Sorry, it sucks. They want to form there own identity not splinter off of ours. *** group hug ***
Anybody that suggests that greatness is from some sort of gene and not hard work is missing a few screws.
Yes, some are more genetically dispositioned to do something but unless they work at it they will never know how great they can be.
You are a great runner because you work at it and are an inspiration and motivator to those you touch.
I enjoy coming to your blog because you are real. We don't always agree but you keep it real and for that I love you and love our blog. Don't change a thing.
P-Nut will come back around and I'm sure you know that. We all went through this and the parents after us will go through it too. Let it take its course and always be there when she needs you. She will need you more than you can imagine.
Sad! I know it won't be long before one of my kids says that to me. :(
Of course you bust your bum to run! How could that be easy for anyone?
I don't think anyone's life is easy. Silly that someone thinks having one child makes life easy. I realized one day that it's also judging to assume that so and so has it so easy with their perfect life. It's never true and it is usually said with some resentment.
Yes, I usually have plenty to vent about. I get tired of people thinking that just because I play the piano for everything at church, I should also play for them for their personal stuff for free even though it takes me hours of practice and time away from my family. One lady wanted an accompanist for her daughter, telling me that she checked into the price of hiring one and just could not believe how expensive it was. She told her daughter, "If you have to pay for it, then you're not going to do it!" Just assumed that I would do it for nothing. If someone told me they were struggling financially and asked me to do it, that would be one thing. It's the assumption that bothered me and it made me feel less than, like I'm not a "real accompanist".
OK, I am guilty of saying, "you have the body of a runner", (I suppose we could say, anyone who has 2 legs and is mobile has the "body" of a runner.) BUT the effort and work you put into your achieving goals as a runner, does not come easily. Those of us close to you (and every other runner) knows what effort it takes to train to achieve a goal. I am proud of the fact that you use this same dogged determination to achieve goals other than running as well.
And as far as your abilities being simply a result of having "good genes" Ha! Your Dad was a sprinter, your Mom a cheerleader--Enough said! No comparison (except maybe the great abs thing)!
And about not being invited to "field day".... I remember hiding on the other side of the road to watch some of my kids who said "don't come, it will be boring". Some day she will be disappointed if you are not there to see her achieve her own personal goals. Trust me on this one.
This may be a little too personal, but I want others to know just how much your Mom recognizes your efforts to achieve this and many other goals in your life.
xoxox
My kid is 16, when she started to get that "don't want to be seen with Dad" thing, we'd have to go to a movie theater outside our neighborhood. I understand. But, it SUCKS! She sits in the car in the parking lot while at any store I need to visit. Oh, unless, I'm buying her something. Did I say it sucks?
I am so sorry about field day, that would break my heart too. Lack of sleep always makes me feel crazy. I could not agree more with you about the 'made to run' thing. I know you train SO HARD and push yourself so much to be the amazing runner you are (and to have those killer abs:) You are amazing and I hope that things get better!
I believe you train VERY hard. I am sorry you were dissed by pnut, it was bound to happen sometime.
I have a ton to vent about today, but I think there is a character limit.
Some "mature" soul stopped following me.
My heel, and now ankle, hurts.
And if one more person tells me my mileage is great, I may borrow your shot gun!
I'm not sure I would trade those middle school years with my daughter for anything. Nothing! Well, maybe a happy heel, but that's only a MAYBE! Hang in there girl! Text if you need to vent! :)
I hate it when people make assumptions about me, so I get it. Only you know you. To thine own self be true and forget the haters.
I am a lover btw.
As for peanut, wow don't even get me started. Sam has really broken away, telling me I don't understand him like his friends do. It is very hard to take. But it is healthy in a sense too.
I'm so sorry you are having a tough day! Vent away!
The Peanut? Pure awesomeness. Love her. And my oldest (who is 11) is starting to not want me around too. sniff. Hurts my heart, but at the same time I so FREAKIN proud of the person she's growing up to be.
The genes that you have that make you a great runner are not the ones that say you have long legs and awesome abs. They are the genes that say you have a strong work ethic and a will to be great and determination to keep going when you don't want to anymore. THOSE are the genes that make you great!
Not much to vent about here - I'm still riding the "spring weather in mid February" high. I'll come back next week when it's all turned to shit again. ;)
*hugs*
I think people that blame natural ability simply aren't willing to put in the work. I know that sounds harsh, but in my experience it's true. I played college basketball and I had quite a few people tell me that they would have kept playing, but they didn't have my "natural ability". Know what my natural ability was? Working my butt off in the gym for over two hours a day on top of two or three hour practices and hour and a half long conditioning sessions. Natural ability has a lot more to do with how much effort you put in. Being good doesn't mean that you're unnaturally blessed. It means that you took the natural talent (that lies within each of us) and refined it until it *became* something great. None of us are born great. You have to want it.
In short: Ignore the haters. You rock.
Aw, EMZ! You are like the coolest mom I can imagine--reading your posts makes me love you even more. Sending you hugs. Peanut loves you beyond words--maybe this is a race report she wants to share with you?
You embody "beautiful, mother and athlete" in my mind.
Hearing you on all counts…kid part, sleep part, stupid people's assumptions part… what'd I miss?
I *heart* EMZ
I remember needing a full 10-count to respond nicely once when someone looking at my medal box (from my rowing days) said something about me being so lucky to have all those medals.
I think I have a thorn up my ass the last two days. I have been in a slump and the Boston registration change did not help my mood at all! Work sucks, fitting in running sucks, the weather is gray which sucks...see where I am going with this? I'm generally not a poopy kind of person but damn if there isn't something foul in the air.
People are Crazy if they think you get your running talent from genes. It is hard work! That is why we all keep coming back to your blog for inspiration and a reality check. Hey Emz....you've. Freakin'. Got.this!
I can tell by your abs and your race times that you bust your ass. It's also clear from your posts and the joy you get from running. You totally, totally earn what you have. Anyone who thinks someone can run like you do, or look like you do, without effort is ignorant.
Sorry * hugs * as long as you don't shoot me with that 45 ;)
I have a 4.5 year old who is a big Daddy's girl. A 2.5 year old who could be back in my uterus if I let her. One day it might reverse and the oldest will hate her father and I'll be bee's knee's but for now I just wait....
Only people that don't run say "your body is made to run". Running is never easy. You are where you are because you have worked so hard to get there.
Sorry about Field Day. I never ask my kids if I'm "allowed" to come to things. I just show up.
Hope is never a bad thing.
You have to do what is best for you and only you can know what that is.
Hang in there.
I am so sorry your daughter didn't want you to come- my 12 year old son is *just* about there with that. I am also so sorry you are having a sad day. You inspire so so many people, I am so glad you are human , ha ha.
Oh, and I may be guilty of saying something about some people being natural runners- I never thought about it meaning they didn't work at it, just that their bodies were better able to do wonderful things WITH the hard work. Ha ha, I guess that's ONE good thing about my thick body, people are always sooo proud of all my hard work if I just FINISH a race, lmao.
Ugh, I am not sure that came out right ^^^^ You totally inspire me and make me want to work as hard as you.
MEAN PEOPLE SUCK!
Only people who are totally jealous of you would say things like that. You are awesome. And if you did get a gift, just know that you're using it well through all your hard work. You're maxing out your potential which is exactly what you should do with it! I like your motto. Go with it!
Peanut... the day comes and it's never easy. But at least she still wants to hang out with you tonight!
I say wear your heels to the starting line! YFGT!
Vent away..that's what friends are for! :)
Aww...I'm so sorry you were uninvited to Field Day. My boys are 3 and 5 and still give me squeezes and kisses when I drop them off at their class, so I am really dreading the day they grow up and don't want me around. But, know that Peanut loves you..that I am positive of!
As for the running thing, I know you had to work hard to get to where you are today. You are amazing and an inspiration! Don't give the haters the time of day!
I was luky enough to make it all the way to 17 with my oldest son before he started to be a teenager...and it's only becuase that "girl" entered his life....I don't like it...at least I still have some time with the 15 year old. Not sure how I got so lucky...
- I read #3, shoulda listen because I am emotional and sensitive today, now I am emotional
- After reading my post today, you know I understand your post, I wont blabber and ramble on and on and on, cause I will
-Thanks for the kind words today
Strangely, I don't get a lot of 'your body is just made to run'. I do, however, get 'your body is just made to eat', an activity for which I do seem to have a great deal of natural ability and skill.
Anybody who knows you, or at least knows you through your blog, should be saying 'running has made your body'. Nobody bangs out marathons and 50-milers without busting their ass. You don't dwell on your training, but anybody with a slight understanding of running has to know that you're killing it on the treadmill, on the roads, in the gym, etc. Abs like that don't grow on trees .... except of course on ab trees, which were long ago plowed over to build more McDonalds.
Sorry about the field day snub. My 8-year old daughter recently shut me down trying to give her a kiss at the bus stop before she got on the bus. Actually got a heisman-worthy stiff arm. Broke my heart a little. I know she'll go full circle and come back around some day, but I understand the hurt. Based on her guest posts your daughter clearly loves and admires you, even if it's not cool to act that way.
oh EMZ!
so sorry to hear about your rough day!
agree with Matty-O that you have a young lady on your hands now. i too dread the day my babies dont think im cool anymore...
BUT they have to grow up eventually,be thier own person and make choices (poor or wise) on thier own.even though she may not want to be seen in public with you over the next few years,you will never be far from her heart-youre a great mom EMZ,and i know you have instilled life long morals,values and greatness in your lil peanut via leading by example and you being a woman of god.....
hang in there! she will return to you!
AND about the being "made to run" thing. totally get where you are coming from. true,others may be genetically predispositioned to be good athletes,BUT natural,god given talent isnt handed to you without hard work,dedication and a love of the sport being part of the deal.
you have to work hard to be GREAT at what your good at.
from one runner to another----
you are GREAT at running,not just "good".
i know how hard you bust your arse!!!!!!!
hang in there EMZ!
(oh and btw,if you wanna know what im venting about-read my last few post!)
***sending HUGS******
it is tough seeing all our little "peanuts" needing their space. being a mommy is so hard. tougher than any run or training plan out there!
i admire your skills and know that there is a TON of hard work behind it! I always identify you as a amazing mommy first and then a super stud runner.
feel the love today and everyday!!
Having kids is hard. One minute I want to strangle them, the next I want to bear hug them. I slept in my son's bed last night, because he asked me to, and I know there's going to be a time when he won't want me to.
I don't think anyone is a natural runner. Unless you're a Kenyen.
feel better xo
What ^THEY^ said!
Peanut is still your Peanut, but she can't be her own self if she doesn't come out from under your wing every now and again. Trust me, you have a relationship with her that will give you endless joy in the years to come. Get a nap. Then enjoy hanging out with her tonight and hearing how she experienced Field Day on her own.
My sisters tease me because of how often I say "I'm hopeful." I don't know if it guides me, but it certainly is better than the alternative.
I'm sure you already know this, but you've got 400+ people out here who think you're rather awesome. Don't let the occasional idiot get you down. Be hopeful for them, because they obviously don't get it.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure you don't just wake up, magically able (or willing??) to run 26.2 miles on the treadmill before making a Thanksgiving feast.
You've got a lot of hard work under your belt, and just enough craziness to make the most of it ;)
PS, Please tell me it's going to be YEARS and YEARS before I have to worry about my daughter uninviting me from stuff. She's been hanging on my hip lately and I can't bear the thought of her not wanting to hang out with her unbelievably cool and awesome and totally not-embarrassing mother.
probably not a good day to think of a random fruit. Who's busting on you? Ignore them.
Sucks about peanut but that's how life is. I'm 100% certain it means nothing at this point - there is plenty more cuddling ahead.
oh boy....
1. the comments about the body...I hate that..of course you work hard, this would make me soooo pissed off. I get the opposite kind of comments : "you are way too tall to be a runner" "you don't look like a runner" that kind of crap. Last week I got one of those and I could not help myself and this came out "Let's see YOU run a freaking 1/2 marathon!" Very mature I know.
For the girlie. That scares me. I got two kids they are still young and they still think I am all that...they are 5 and 6 and BOYS. I think that phase you are in has to be harder with girls. I am sure you will hate this but I think it is "normal". I did it to my parents and now that I am a parent I regret it so much. you are hurt, means my mom was hurt also when I did it...it sucks. It will pass.
We are here for ya.
Guess what? I just figured out I was made to run slow!
I also only have one child. I hope people don't think it's easier. Sometimes I think it's harder.
Whoa, who pissed in your Cheerios? Good vent, hope you feel better, you're amazing and beautiful, and an inspiration to me. Keep it up EMZ, run hard.
hugs, children are cranky little monsters sometimes. you train your ass off, we all know that. we're here for you!
NSFW ....
F*&K Them.
I feel ya.
The little awesomeness is just standing on her own two feet! Be proud of yourself you made her strong enough to do so!
Oh and my vent for the day - I burst into tears when I got home because I am not allowed to pee at work when I want to. I need permission. And they make me hold it. I was balling. So Emo!
"born to run" or "in your genes" ... I don't buy it.
At all.
You are hard working, determined, gutsy and you have EARNED every achievement.
And technically, aren't we all "MADE" to run? We all have 2 legs!
OMG I just read this post and MO's first comment and I spit crap all over my monitor and couldn't stop laughing and then I realized we ARE being serious here so I stopped giggling. Dude I don't have anything to offer except, you are amazing and I don't have a clue who the fuck would think you don't work hard? You have the run times, awesome abs, adorable kid AND the belt buckle to prove you work hard. So, while I may be far from an "athlete", just tell me who pissed you off and I'll head over there and kick their ass cause I'm nothing if I ain't stubborn. Hope your day gets better.. I totally heart you.
Vent away. It helps keep you sane - whatever that is. Godspeed.
Dang kids. Why do they have to have such a tight hold on our hearts?
And you should female dog slap anyone that says anything about the number of kids you have. No one thing makes life easy or hard. And how many kids a person chooses (or sometimes it gets chosen for us) is a personal thing.
Don't give up on HOPE. Or Heavenly Father.
Bummer about not being able to go to field day. When I was 10-12 we had an annual track and field meet at a local elementary school. I was usually one of the faster kids, so I got to run in the 4x100 meter relay every year I think. I loved that meet every year. I'm not sure if my Mom was there or not, she might have been. I don't think I ever told her she couldn't come, but I can somewhat see where peanut is coming from - you don't want to be the uncool kid with a parent hanging around or something. That is tough. When I did track & field in junior high and high school, my Mom came to all my meets, I really appreciated having her there.
About someone saying you were made to run, maybe you have always had an athletes body. Some people have an advantage over others from the start. I've generally always been good at distance running ever since I can remember. Others are good at weights and are bigger than others. I would take it as a compliment, but also state that you train your heart out to maximize any god given talent that you were given. Anyone who knows how much you train knows how much work you put into it. If people still don't understand that, then they aren't worth dealing with.
And if you want an ego boost, check out the comments on this thread (you may have already seen it):
http://bikinirun.blogspot.com/2011/02/never-say-never.html
You
Freaking
Got
This
haha
Gurl you rock, cry all you want, you have what you gotz cuz you works for it, now go get your awesome on.
{{{{HUGS}}}}
I thought of you today when I bought these shoes http://www.kohls.com/kohlsStore/shoes/womens/sandals/dress/PRD~692515/A2+by+Aerosoles+Rotunda+SlipOn+Dress+Sandals.jsp because really, I wanted these: http://www.kohls.com/kohlsStore/shoes/womens/shopbyheel/veryhigh_4/PRD~693051/ELLE+Karissa+PeepToe+High+Heels.jsp
Anyone who has a child - doesn't matter whether it's one or ten - is challenged. Whoever said that you have it easy because you've got one is SERIOUSLY DELUDED.
And as far as the running body's concerned - Einstein said that genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration. Well that's how it is with your running.
ahah thanks for the shout Nelly, although it was *really* more of a shout to EMZ :) Your Abs are a legend and made from hard work :D
In the other direction, in HS I was told by an adult, "You are really good for a BIGGER runner." Now I guess I can see that most of the "good" runners were 9th grade unmatured twigs, but that one statement still breaks my heart even though I'm 10-15 lbs lighter now. And it certainly didn't help my college ED.
Some people don't think when they say things, even if they think they are being complimentary.
And I as well "only have one child" and it has been far from easy.
I ALWAYS shoot from the hip, for better or worse :)
Sad face :(
If it makes you feel better we can go shopping for heels together?? Shopping for shoes always makes me feel better.
My 9 year old son does not like to hang out with me. When I drop him off at school he bolts out the door. I'm not "cool" he says (tears!!) I only have the one too and it is HARD.
My vent: I have been seriously emotional for the last 2 weeks. The stress of moving and being pulled in every direction and my running schedule getting all screwed up. I can't count how many times I've cried in the last week (but I do cry for everything happy or sad so that's no biggie) I have been working hard to try and increase my speed and endurance going in this training cycle and I haven't been able to run since Sat and it's literally making me crazy and sad cause I don't want my hard work to go down the drain :(
On the kidlet: wait. They come back and one day soon you'll be cool again, but there will be some lean times between now and then. On the body: you can have the body of a thoroughbred and if you sit in the barn all the time you're not going anywhere with it.
That said, I envy those of you that have both the natural ability AND the drive to succeed. Given a choice though, I'd choose the latter (and, since I don't have a choice, I'm glad I got the latter), because the drive to succeed will take you a long way, and the natural ability gets you very little without a significant push.
And none of this is any of my business, anyway, but I hope you are feeling better soon. I was annoyed by the moon this morning, so maybe there's just something in the air this week!
1. Wish I could say it DOESN'T hurt when your 21 year old doesn't want you around ... but the feeling is the same
2. Heavier people always say to me, "I wish I was skinny like you and could eat whatever I want, you're lucky!" Me mentally - screw you, I run 75 miles a week, try that and report back to me. Me in real life "Yeah, I'm lucky I guess!"
Oh man. I hate days like this. Not matter what someone says, it's wrong and makes you wanna cry.
One time, I burst into tears in the parking lot of Auto Zone because I needed coolant in my car. WHAT?!
Tomorrow is a new day. Get some rest and it will all be better in the AM!
oh EMZ... I'm sorry you're having a bad day! I'm sending you a big bear hug right now!! :D
I hope it gets better from here!
Im always too sensitive!! :)
haha
and its Heismanned not Guantanamo'd
wait
after reading your post and more specifically peoples comments...there will come a time when my little ones dont want me?!?!
cannot be true:)
------
run run run
it totally works for you
and whats wrong with that again?
:( I just want to hug you!
That's all...
If you were born to run, then I was born to follow.
And you KNOW my very strong feelings about the "you've only got one" load of hooey. Would her existence be greater if she had a sibling? Are you less of a mom because you have one beautiful, fantastic, incredible daughter? There is no doubt in my mind that your worth as a mother is the same regardless of the number. You still face challenges, thrills, and uninvitings. I think it is harder in many ways to have one child that doesn't have a sibling, so PISH to whoever gave that lame-o statement. And you do train your tail off. That's why you have no tail.
I am sorry about temporary funky feeling. I am not looking forward to those times. I hope lovey, huggy, snuggles are in your near future from peanut. Thanks for sharing. I love your blog and your life experiences I really connect with so much. Your speed...well not so much. I was not born to run and I don't bust my ass as much as you do, but I am working on it.
You've.Got.This.
now wheres my bumper sticker with this fantastic mantra? Oh, and I am still waiting for the new shirt order with the mantra on the back.
this is a whole lotta love to you today... :)
and my 9 year old has been rolling her eyes at me all week...out of nowhere...wassup with that?
and seriously, just the other night, a girl i see all the time, says, 'you run marathons? how come you're not thin like those marathoners on tv?'
i kid you not.
seriously people.
There's something up with the world lately. The I'm me and you're you doesn't seem to get across. Everyone has their own barriers and seriously, who can read your blog and not think you're not training your ass off??? Don't worry about the naysayers, they tend to be jealous.
You RoCk!
Wow Em, Over 60 people have taken the time to write you on this subject!
You've struck a cord for sure! When your kid reads this one day it will be more proof of how much you love her!
Publishing these blogs to book form may be a good business for us parents wanting our kids to better understand our way of thinking.
And by the way if anyone has the body to run it is you!
As a fellow female marathoner/ultra-runner/triathlete that was doing this stuff when hardly any other women were...well, at least you have more company than I did! (But it was fun to be one of the guys too!) Most of the time I felt like an outsider from the ladies I worked with and knew because they weren't into what I was/am. And as I got older, I realized it didn't matter that I "fit in". I was doing what I wanted to do. And so I finally said "eff" everyone who didn't "understand"!
Just follow your heart and don't listen to ANYONE...except maybe your hubby!
You MADE that body by accumulating lots of mileage with determination and consistent training. Everyone is just jealous.
And really - at least get a .357 magnum if you want to do some damage! :-)
i can relate-well not with the being an amazing runner thing-but I think Hope Guides Me too...and it may be a bit annoying at times but hope is beautiful. Where would we be without hope? What is the point of doing anything without hope? And I am with you on the one kiddo thing too...it's hard when people minimize the existence of my ONE amazing and beautiful boy because they have three....
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