Monday, September 20, 2010

The Biggest Loser

So lets get this out of the way... In two words, how was the race?
Hugely disappointing.
  
  • How did you feel at the start?
Tired but great! Slept about 3 hours....Same as all the other marathons.
  • When did you find your groove?
Mile 4 - when Katy Perry's "E.T." came on.
  • Do you always run races w/an iPod?
Yes. Ever since my 2nd marathon.
  • Ever had an issue w/your iPod?
Funny you should ask.... No, but..... It completely crapped out on me [this marathon] at mile 9#@£%{]@): urrrgggg.
  • How was the weather?
Beautiful but windy. Note to self...one thing treadmills cannot do is prepare you for wind.
  • How did your legs feel after the mostly downhill decent at mile 14?
Better than I thought. But I'll still be looking into ShutUp&Run's new find. ;)
  • Do you ever get cramps while racing?
Not until this marathon. Mile 16.
  • So why did that medic on the bike stop you at 17.25?
He saw me barf at 17.
  • Why did he continue to follow you to 20.
He thought I should pull out of the race.
  • What did you tell him?
"I'd rather crawl on my hands & knees bleeding than ride on the back of that bike of yours. I bet you haven't even named it. " - ok, I left the "naming it" part out.
  • What did he say to that?
"If you barf or dry heave more than 5 times- I'm pulling you out of the race."
  • How many times did you barf?
Three. YAY me!
  • Awesome moment of the run?
Right after barfing, the first time [about 1/8 mile after] having an unknown man say, "ummmm, you Karine's daughter?". My reply, "yep, did she not tell you I'd be followed by a medic?"
  • How did you get medic boy to leave you?
He just declared, "your crazy but admirable. I'll come back at 24 to check on you. "
  • Did he come back at 24?
Not that I'm aware of.
  • Things you did in this race you've never done before?
Barf.
Get cramps.
Have music problems.
Stopping to WALK eleven [yes, I counted] times.
  • Sad moments?
Not my "usual crew" along the race. Realize how much I love those few seconds of seeing my loved ones.
No peanut at finish line.
  • Loser moment?
At 26.1 When friends Hubby yelled, "ya Emily. Great job!" and I replied, "I completely suck."
  • Loser moment #2?
When they wanted a "finisher photo" & I didn't. Then he asked me to put the medal by my face & I said, "I'd rather not."
  • Loser moment #3?
Seeing the Pita but avoiding him at all costs. Walked in circles in the "runners only" area until I thought I was done sulking, fighting back tears & being mad at myself.
  • Loser moment #4?
Left runners area too quickly. Started bawling. Medal may have [very childishly] been "dropped" onto grass. I think the same thing happened to my full glass of water. Weird.
  • Loser moment #5?
Crying. A lot of crying [under sunglasses, of course].
  • Loser moment #6?
Missing a surprise visit from Brooke. A childhood friend.  Don't have the words to explain just how frustrated this made me.
You. rock. Brooke.
  • Loser moment #7
Running out of the way of the photo guy at mile 20.
                      Time . . . .  3:35

The best RR ever, right?!
You are totally uplifted and ready to start your day . . . .  no?!
Sorry guys.  I'm my own worst critic.  I expect a lot of myself.  And I may be slightly competitive with myself. [and a bad sport]
I have plenty of things I'd love to blame this lackluster race on.  Some of which may even be valid.  But no excuse makes me feel any better.  Just a bad race.
Learning from it. and running on.

78 comments:

Kovas Palubinskas said...

Dang Emily, for most people 3:35 would be a godsend. Hope with some time you realized that you did great and...you'll get a Pukie Award from BDD!

Dash said...

Sorry it was a tough race for you, the time is great, but I know that doesn't make up for how you felt during it. Seriously, you're amazing that you even ran it with how ill you've been recently (not to mention how many marathons you've run recently!). Congratulations and I agree, I hope after the pain wears off, you realize that you did AMAZING!

Andrew Opala said...

I'm glad you got that piece of sh*t running out of the way. You completely sucked - you had lots of reason and excuses I know - but you basically sucked. (You ran better than me but so do my mother-in-laws over-easy eggs.)

Today is training that gets you to a new race and a much much better performance. Put this one behind you #2037.

Work on the mental preparation - build up your tough as nails, piss fire and sh*t hand grenades attitude.

See you in the winner's circle EMZ - you are my idol!

Laurie said...

I hate being told that I did great and I should be happy with my time because it's still really fast, when I don't feel that I did nor am I happy with my time, so I won't tell you that. You did however, look great, tears, puke stains and all (okay, just kidding, didn't see any puke). I loved that you matched your nail polish to your top though. You. Rock. And, you're still my hero. :)

Matty O said...

Soooooo, sexy abs... even though you don't look happy, the abs are smiling haha!

How does it feel to "fail" in your own mind? I am not being an ass here, so hear me out.

You needed this race. Yeah it wasn't what "you" wanted. Yeah you had some issues. Yeah you had a medic hitting on you... errr uhhh I mean, making sure you were "ok". But you needed this.

You see, it is through this "fail" that you will succeed. Anyone can go out and run a race. Can anyone go out, miss their mark, overcome problems, vomiting, crazy cameramen, and come back and crush their next race?

We will see.

This is what will make you. Learn from it, don't dwell on it. Keep your head up, take a couple days to recoup. Your next race, you will think about this and most likely exceed your expectations.

Personally, it sounds like you never kicked your sickness and it snuck up on you and took your day away from you.

I can relate 100% to you. The welling up of emotions building every mile until you finally finish and can let them out. There have been races where I kept going after I finished and never looked back.

You still rock, and are awesome. We set goals because they are not easy. You will be immensely stronger for having done this race, trust me.

You did great :) Smile.

Brooke said...

Bad runs suck but they suck even worse on race day....sorry to hear about your disappointment. But very impressed with your recount of the day - at least you didn't bonk so bad that you don't remember it all. Now thinking about that, I bet you would be glad to push this memory back especially the puking part.

Here's to the next race - YOU ROCK!

Matty O said...

oh yeah, and out of EVERYWHERE you could have put your race number... you HAD to put it on your boobs?!?!

Emz said...

Matty-O.
First thank you. No more like..
T H A N K Y O U.

Second... Is there any other acceptable place?! ;)
Thanks for the laugh.

Velma said...

Sucky for you. Downhill is hard on ya and puking just sucks. Next time will be better.

Chaka said...

You are way too hard on yourself. Most people would die to run that fast. I feel bad for the cramps and puking, but the real tragedy was running without music!

Lindsay said...

I wish I could run a 3:35 with leg cramps, no music, and barfing. I'm thoroughly impressed!

Erika said...

As my first race approaches...my nerves are going a little crazy! It's been somewhat comforting to read that even super speedy AWESOME runners have bad days, too, and it's not something that happens to just me. I'm sorry that you had such a sucktastic day, but know that it wasn't in vain...taught me a lesson for sure. Go out and kill the next one!!

Forward Foot Strides said...

Sorry to hear about a tough race. And if my music died with that many miles to go, I honestly don't know how I'd finish!

Laura said...

Dude.....I know we are our own worst critics but you.are.amazing.
Seriously.
I guess the upside is you didn't barf on the bike guy?

Marlene said...

We all have our bad ones. So sorry the day didn't go as planned/hoped. I'm not sure I could have gone on after puking during the race. You are one tough cookie!

Amy said...

Even though I would KILL for your time, a sucky race just, well, sucks, but you're definitely not a loser for any of those moments. I think they are all completely understandable reactions to having your race not go as planned after you worked so hard to prepare. I'd be kicking and screaming just for the iPod mishap!

Barefoot Neil Z said...

I dunno what to tell you that hasn't been said. You are a freak of nature! Is finishing in 0 minutes acceptable? LOL. Barfing = badge of honor. nice work you got 3 badges. Cry it out and move the eff on! Thats what I tell my 3yo when he has a tantrum.

Keep smiling! This is my favorite race report this week, because it is human and real.

n

Chloë said...

Sorry it was pretty miserable. :( But you clocked in yet another BQ, which equates to utterly amazing in my book. I'll never be as fast as you!

Rae said...

Awwww! I wanted to cry when you said you were crying! I'm sorry you didn't have a good race. I know how it is to expect so much out of yourself and then being disappointed after you don't do what you had planned. With that said, I think you did fabulous on 3 hours of sleep, 3 barfs, no peanut, no parents, and an annoying biker guy behind you! You rock Emz! And thank you for the new ripped abs pics!

Black Knight said...

Your "bad race" for many runners is a "dream race". If you don't get angry I would say "very good job" because 3:35 is a great finishing time. Great pictures, you look fast, strong and in perfect shape.

Jill said...

Been there, can totally relate.....HUGE HUGS to you!!! You WILL get it next time, you WILL!!!!!
((hugs))

Silly Girl Running said...

So sorry for the sucky race! But, on a more happy note, you looked great! Honestly!

Quinton J said...

I think it was really considerate for the medic to give you that 5 barf buffer (5BB for short). A lot of medics just aren’t that thoughtful anymore.
You’re still a Super Star to me. You also still have a 3:20 PB (faster than mine) and no amount of tears or cramps or barf can take that away from you.
You also wore the crap out of that lime-green get-up (and the secret matching nails) and If I had a choice between running a 3:15 or looking as fly as you did in the lime-green top…Well…let’s just say I’d be wearing a bra right now. Andrew you shuddup.
One of my favorite NM quotes is: “"The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall."
You’re up…
Take this race as ammo…
Like the great prophet Matty-O said: learn from it…
Now you’ve got a belt buckle to focus on…

Emz said...

Q-day. Made.
But secretly, andrew's comment....hilarious.

heather said...

Matty O already said what I was thinking about your recent illness and so forth.

I understand completely about being your own worst critic so I won't sit here and tell you how great your time was and to go easy on yourself.

Instead I'll just say that you looked hawt, even with the sad face...love the green top and matching nails

Quinton J said...

Yeah...Laughed Out Loud when I read Andrews comment.

Caratunk Girl said...

Holy shit, you have rocking abs!!! Matty O was looking at your boobs!!! :) ha ha

I get it. I totally understand being disappointed with a race performance, so I am not going to say a bunch of shit you don't want to hear.

You need to have those crappy performances so that you can learn from them (do I sound too much like Matty O & Q here??) and come back later and kick ass and take names. Which you will.

Maybe you need Peanut and crew there to help you with your race day mojo. Makes me think of Bree Wee (pro triathlete) - Of her past 4 IM's, her son was at 1. Guess how many she finished? 1. Guess how many she podiumed? 1. AND ofcourse, she got her Kona spot there.

So don't underestimate the power of your Peanut! :) Hugs to you!

ShutUpandRun said...

It's the damn medic's fault. No doubt about it. How did he come up with five vomits or dry heaves? Is that in the marathon bylaws?

I'm not going to talk about what a great time 3:35 is or how beautiful you look or the fact that some races are just shitty. I am going to talk about the fact that the great thing about life is we can keep moving forward an onto the next thing.

Hugs and kisses friend!

Kevin and Kim Partridge said...

As one highly self critical competitive babe with fabulous abs to another (stop smirking-mine are hiding), I have a similar experience to yours, but it doesn't involve running. I am going to blog about it and dedicate it to you. I heart you!

The Turtle said...

Congrats on finishing that race, it sounded pretty miserable. I think I probably would have quit after two pukes. Who am I kidding, I would have quit after the first puke.

Emz said...

Caratunk- I loved your comment. I need my peanut.

SU&R- I just heart you. I'd also like to know how he came up w/5 but I tell you what...I was happy he did because it made me hold [at least] two back. ;)

Kim-thanks my friend.

Jamoosh said...

Oh thank God! You are the loser. I thought this might be a post dedicated to me! :-)

That said, sh*t happens and so do crappy runs. It's out of your system and your next will be awesome.

Anne said...

Sorry it didn't go as you hoped EMZ. Know that what makes you so special is that you are not only an exceptional runner, but an exceptional woman. Big hugs ((()))

Sarah said...

Sorry you weren't happy with your race. It wasn't that long ago that you had pneumonia. Go easy on yourself! Your next race will be awesome.

H Love said...

I am sure you did better than your story shared! Focus on the good and leave the bad behind. Gearing up for the next one!! HUGS and I still think you are a rock star.

Hannah said...

#1 - You are a sexy runner!

#2 - I am so bummed that you feel so terribly about your performance...because you really kicked ass! I mean it, woman!

#3 - I'm so sorry that you felt so rotten. :(

Colleen said...

Huge big hugs to you!!! :(

Adrienne said...

Sorry you were so disappointed but seriously you are such an amazing woman! How do you do what you do? Idol in my mind. Like Q said--Go get that belt buckle!

As a side note: I'm willing to go under the knife to look like you with your abs, legs and green top. You look awesome!

Kera said...

i feel really bad. it's all my fault. i'm a terrible person. damn that sole and potatoes.

Kera said...

and e-mail me some pics would ya?

termite said...

emz, i'm not going to tell you anything but the truth. and i totally understand how you feelright now. i'm extremely competitive with myself and i get very upset when i don't preform to my best ability.
that being said.. chin up!
rest up and train hard for the next race!!
xo

termite said...

emz, i'm not going to tell you anything but the truth. and i totally understand how you feelright now. i'm extremely competitive with myself and i get very upset when i don't preform to my best ability.
that being said.. chin up!
rest up and train hard for the next race!!
xo

Karine said...

No Kera, it,s my fault! Here we are off traveling the world and we should have been cheering in " happy valley". We will try to be at the right place next time!

Of course when the results were reported you had to feel better. Right??

Also once again......you're welcome for giving you the great abs gene!

Jeff - DangleTheCarrot said...

"A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner."

I'm not sure who even said this but I absolutely love it because it isn't true just about sailing. It applies to running and it also applies to life.

You got thrown into the swells Em. It sucked, it hurt, and it would have been easier to quit - you choose to continue and you finished. That has far more meaning than the timing chip results because it speaks volumes about your character.

It hurts right now but as time passes you will look back at this race as one of the most gratifying ones you have ever ran. You will know that whatever hell is thrown your way that you will be able to overcome and still achieve your goals ... Not just in running but in life.

So heads up Captain Emily, you just navigated your tough sea!

Angie said...

So once, I puked after a 5k, mostly 'cause I'm just that awesome. You did it, in a time that I will NEVER match (you are the reason I never post my times) I'm sorry it was a rotten race, it's soooo frustrating but the next one will be better. That's why we do it.

Pam said...

I still love you, and you're still my hero. :)

DRog said...

Amazing. Unreal. I cant believe you finished the race! Great comments and followers you have, lots of fantastic take's on your race and emotions. I agree and hope its something you can build from, and draw the ol "fire in the belly" from. Or in your case fire on the 6pack abs:) I've got my own shot in two weeks at redemption on a "failed" 2nd half marathon last year (that is my PR! haha)

Amazing you finished the race - way to dig down for that
-Derek

DRog said...

I now might carry my shuffle in my race belt for my run in case my Nano craps out
4real
-Derek

Matty O said...

You honestly have 46 comments on your posts???? Goodness gracious girl!

I get more than 10 comments and I am like, ugh, I have to reply TO ALL of these people hahaha.

Mandy, yes I was looking at her boobs. EMZ is one of those girls that puts that bib RIGHT THERE so you look at her boobs. If I were there on race day, I would have memorized her race number from staring at it so much. She COULD HAVE put it on her hip or right thigh... but OHHHHH NOOOOOO guess where she plasters that puppy.

All kidding aside, I know you felt like crap EMZ, looking at your one picture it appears that you are crossing your body with your arms. Do you typically run this way or was it due to feeling like hell?

You are wasting some energy by allowing your arms to cross your body instead of just allowing your thumbs to gently brush your waist band as you pump. Not trying to sound pompous or that I know a damn thing about anything in life... but this is one thing that I learned being a bigger guy (NOT SAYING YOU ARE A BIG GIRL!!!)... conserving energy and watching my form. We did a lot of video taping in college. My coach's mission was to make me "look like a runner" and not her linebacker.

Just something that might help you as you are getting into more frequent long distance training/racing. Form will conserve a ton of energy and allow you to perform better.

I wanted to check back and read the comments too. I have bad days, a lot of stuff that people said here is pretty solid. Jeff's comment about the sailors and seas... that one stuck. Good stuff.

And seriously... your abs are something else... DAMN GIRL! Not sure why I don't see you on the cover of Runner's World haha!

Char said...

OMG you've got to stop being so hard on yourself! Yes, you are your harshest critic. And seriously, we all have AWFUL runs. But we learn from them and live to run another day. Sulk for a day, reflect then get on with it. Big hugs from Australia

Emz said...

Matty-O...... I think it's mostly linked to tired/bad form. I've noticed [in photos] I do this as a race progresses .... Like after mile 17-18. I need to do what you are saying.

How do I do it? Any suggestions?!

BTW-tried the # on leg thing.....naaaa.

P said...

I have nothing original to add to these comments, I just wanted you to know that I feel for ya, girlfriend. Bad races SUCK. You, however, are completely awesome!

ajh said...

Hope by the time you read this you are already feeling better.

Emz said...

Okay-was happy to see 2nd photo was literally 2 steps away. But I do need to work on maintaining form.

The Green Girl said...

::hugs:: I agree with everyone else - I think you are amazing.

beckus1234 said...

Oh Emz, to me you are so wonderful! I laughed so much at the 5BB term.
XXOO Proud to be related to you!

Her Name is Rio said...

So sorry you didn't have the race you wanted, but you deprived the medic of the opportunity to pull you out of the race- good on you! A lot can happen in 26.2 miles, for sure.
Rest, recup and move on. I still think you're an amazing athlete!

Petraruns said...

Honey we all NEED these crappy races because sometimes we think we can just DO these things and then they kick our butts and we need to be reminded they can kick our butts. Though with a time like that I think you actually turned on this race and kicked its butt anyway...

You were sick. You know that right? You should have been racing? you know that right? But you did it as would I have as would most have.

LIck your wounds, do something that makes you feel good, move on.

The Kornegay Family said...

I hope you know what I think about you and your race the other day . . . even though you weren't very proud of it. Thanks for texting me back.

Reading all of these comments to you make me smile and happy . . . it is amazing that so many others see what your family sees in you! You truly are liked/loved/admired!

You, are a ROCKSTAR!

Mike Russell said...

Dude, been there and done that. Figure out what went wrong and use that in your race plan for the next marathon. Move on and start training again soon! Keep your chin up ma'am.

Tiffany said...

Wow. Even though this was a bad race for you just know that most mortals could never accomplish 3:35 for a marathon. Give yourself a break and better luck next time.

Johann said...

That is still a great time, barfing and all. The main thing is that you pushed through. You’ll learn a lot from this and handle the next bad race much better. In my books this is a good run under tough circumstances. You will see lots of positives as the days go by. Well done!

Zaneta said...

wow! I just got to read your report... i've been having some internet issues :( I'm so sorry you had a crappy race! Just to let you know, I still think you're awesome! :D I only wish I could run a marathon in 3:35! But, I'm sorry it wasn't the best marathon experience for you! Dont be too hard on yourself! All things considered, you did well!

Amanda - RunToTheFinish said...

a triple barf... I'm almost impressed in an odd sort of runner kind of way. I know no matter what I say it won't be a great race to you, but i'm amazed and damn girl you look like a runner!

monicac2 said...

Just signing into say that I am relatively new to your blog, I'm slow as hell and thus don't have much to add except to say that I'm sorry you didn't have the race you wanted and I'm sure you deserved, but you look absolutely amazing (good LORD, your abs are to die for) and you are truly inspirational (and not just the abs!).

misszippy said...

I am sorry I missed this yesterday! But anyhow...you DO know how many people would give their eye teeth for that time, right?

In spite of it all, I can completely relate to how you were feeling. Cracking up at the medal dropping and photo avoidance. It's ok to do those things sometimes.

I'm proud of you for gutting it out and still turning in a 3:35!

The Green Girl said...

You are too cute, girl.

I have the older model of the Nathan Speed 4 - I really prefer it over the new one for the following reasons:

1. I like how there's a flap that velcros over the back pocket because I like to cram as much food in my belt as humanly possible
2. I like the older style bottles with the little rubber thingie that pops up and down
3. I like how the plastic bottle holders are more substantial because I can be a violent and strong Green Girl and I tend to break things

Good luck and happy hydration belt shopping!

Aimee (I Tri To Be Me) said...

I think we are all our own worst critics. I know at least I am. I know nothing we say will make you feel any better, but have you seen all of the comments you have gotten? You are AMAZING and a total ROCK STAR!
I would KILL for that time, and you did it while puking. WOW!

Sammie Girl said...

Your time was amazing (I would personally kill for it) but really when it comes down to it, if you felt it was a horrible race, then that is what it was. I know it is easy for everyone to say “Great time” or “Remember you have been sick” or “You ran it in that time AND you had time to puke along the way?” but that doesn’t change how you feel about your race. I know this is easier said than done but chalk it up in the crappy race category, try to learn from what went wrong and ensure it doesn’t happen again! (I say easier said than done because I am still not happy about my last marathon)

Jannifer said...

I think anybody would love to get that time in their lifetime!! I sure would. ha That stinks that you got sick..way to endure to the end!

RunWithKate said...

I read this post yesterday but didn't comment. When we don't meet our goals there really isn't much anyone can say to make it any better. I have to say though, you have incredible strength for pushing through that race anyway. I could say, "wow! 3:35! That's fast!!" but I know it won't matter when 3:15 was on your brain.

You're still a hero in our eyes!! Keep your head up and keep making us laugh. :)

this free bird said...

omg i'm a day late and a dollar short, but you freaking rock for barfing your guts out AND still finishing.

btw - holy shizballs for your bod/abs. (she says while eating yet another piece of gluten-free toast she just discovered)

i can relate to being hard on yourself and your own worst critic b/c i'm the same. and no matter how many times people praise me for something i think i've done not as well as i would have liked to at - i won't hear it.

but please TRY TO HEAR IT! you still killed it...you just had to stomp it a little harder than you'd expected.

go girl!!

xoxo,
carrie

AM-GoalsfortheWeek said...

wow girl, you ARE hard on yourself.

thank you so much for sharing your marathon journey. I get the self prescribed 'be hard on self' but I gained so much from reading this

thnkx;-)

Adam said...

Awwwwww, that sucks. Sucks a LOT. I totally understand what you mean though. While 3.35 may be relatively fast, it wasn't as fast as you wanted to go.

Try try try again.

Molly said...

Sorry you didn't have as great of a race as you hoped, but you are truly a running inspiration. I've only done one marathon, where I dry heaved and had hammy issues, but I didn't quit, but I was disappointed in my time. I think you Rock.

DRog said...

OMG 75 comments! unreal

anyway
Shhhhhhhhhhhh
dont tell anyone:

b/c I am heavy metal hard rock loving FooFighters Metallica Tool NIN Rage etc etc etc

But I downloaded the Katy Perry E.T which you mentioned in this post. I listened to it today at the gym and I actually like it. Im using it in my marathon playlist. When it kicks in somewhere on the back half I'll think of how you toughed this one out. This type of effort is way more impressive than completing whatever goal you had for time or anything else. B/c when the chips where down you Closed it Out and that took some serious Suck it Up. Im hoping for the same effort from myself.
as my 8 year old would say "shhhh For Real" haha
-Derek

Amy said...

Nice run and pictures there, those are great!!! Nice post too!!!



zbsports

Big Daddy Diesel said...

Sorry that I am WAY behind on my reading.

Everyone has a bad day every once in a while, I would file this under mental toughness training, way to finish the race

Look on the bright side...... you earned a Pukie, stop by friday for your prize.