Friday Funnies- brought to you by my Bro-In-Law [police officer] "buff".
The following 15 Police Comments were taken from police car videos around the country. Count down to #1... the photo that's from a "gun show" I went to.
I loved the shirt.
#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."# 14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."
#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
#12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."
#11 "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"
#10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"
#9 "Warning! You want a warning? O. K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
#8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and corn dogs and step in monkey poo. "
#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."
#5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."
#4 "How big were those 'Just two beers' you say you had?"
#3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."
#2 "I'm glad to hear that chief (of Police) Hawker is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."
#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here." [ouch].
HAPPY FRIDAY!!
40 comments:
Hahah, ouch indeed!
Love #1. I have used 15, 13, and 12. If you pair 12 and 13 its if you run you'll only die tired.
My 7 is Fair? The fair only comes to town once a year and you still have to BUY a ticket.
Ha ha...too funny!
I've never seen monkey poo at a fair. Weird.
Luke - wow. It is written. You brave sole. ;)
SU&R - apparently, you are going to the wrong "fair's".
Oh number one!
Love it! My brother used #11. Trying to remember some others. I'm going to see him this weekend.
Me+cops=not friends. Never get out of tickets. Travis has NEVER gotten a ticket. I guess he is the pretty one, bald head and all.
I hope I never hear any of those in real life...they wouldn't be so funny.
Adrienne - me either. I've only gotten out of one. [one out of four or is it five? might be six] not very good odds. Oh & I think you've just guaranteed T a ticket. I blogged that the Pita never had and within 2 weeks....nailed $250. Dang Tucson police.
T-riffic.....after a long day of driving laughing is what I needed and this was the perfect first blog to read.
Thanks.
wow $250 in Tucson for pita! thanks for the warning before i pick up my rental down there. happy halloween and have a great weekend!
Jason - happy. me.
Slowmo - please drive "slowmo". Tucson cops. as. mean. as. they.come.
Those are awesome.
Love #13!
hahaha! loved #1. But I hope he doesn't make me sign ;p
So cool the police read your blog. Please post that none of the laws apply to me.
Kovas - everything/anything for a price. I'd like a taco kit to review.
Police are society's soldiers, despite what Joe Strummer said.
I have had to use #4 OFTEN in my job. Love it! Gotta love offenders!
These are classic
You make these so ...fun!! :)
today at work the guy next to me radio played "video killed the radio star" and my first thought was...I wonder if EMZ has used this tune? or is a tune that would make the cut and eventually show up on her blog. -- is that sad that was my first thought?! haha
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BTT3-vA25Zk
btw I am much more mature than MattyO I would never trick you with a youtube link - hes gotta lotta growing up to do;)
tho so do i:)
Derek
DRog - "video killed the radio star" -- you know it. Was on my Portland marathon playlist. Hilarious. You know me well. ;)
Love these! I've been able to talk my way out of a couple tickets but once upon a time a very, very long ago a #4 and a wrong answer to #8 resulted in a #15.
That shirt is the coolest!
LOL!!! love it! but i do have to confess,i talked my way out of my 1rst ticket with food-i worked asa waitress and promised him a free meal! it worked!!!
Haha! Very funny!
Love them. You gave me and my son a good laugh.
Melissa - love it. Maybe I can offer to be his fashion guide/stylist. Ummm ya thinking that's not going to work. Maybe I should be a part time waitress or open a donut shop?! ;)
i want that t-shirt!!
Bwahahahahaha! I can't ever think of anything clever to say to a cop until after he's already pulled away. I've only gotten out of a ticket once when I had an emotional tearful breakdown while in the last month of pregnancy.
My favorite was a cop who pulled over to help me on the side of the road... had my flashers on... he came up to the window and asked me what the problem was... I said "My childrens' attitude... I pulled over to adjust it."... he said "good luck with that" and walked off and got back in his car.
Lesley - that. Is. Awesome. I'm. Using. That.
Love it!
You are random with your gun shows, belt buckles, and yet rap music references and church shoes :)
I totally identify!
Very funny! I love the t-shirt the best. Cheers!
Very funny! I love the t-shirt the best. Cheers!
hilarious!
Those are seriously awesome! And I'll be passing on that last one.
HAHAHAHAHA, loved number one!
Thanks Adrienne...you're so sweet. Love #9. And Heather's comment...hilarious.
hahahahaha great list.
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