Dear Peanut,
Ten years ago today . . . .There I was, a brand new mother cradling my new bundle of love. You were perfect, and so beautiful. After [what felt like] a lifetime of wondering what motherhood was all about, my moment had finally arrived. I was ready to mold and shape and inspire and do all those wonderful life-changing things mothers are to do.
But I quickly realized that you didn't want to start doing all the mother-daughter things with me just yet. You couldn't bake with me. And you weren’t ready to run or even swing on the swings. In fact, all you really wanted to do was eat, and sleep. And then eat, sleep & poop. And finally, you’d eat, and then sleep.
And there I was, alone most days in our quiet condo. Your Dad was working four days a week from 6am-6pm. So we had a lot of time to spend together. Everyday, I'd clean the house (that took all of 20 minutes.) I'd bake something. I’d clean the one VERY big window that looked out over the parking lot. I'd have our dinner plans organized by 9:00am. I'd color coordinate your baby clothes. I'd straighten your diapers...again. And again. And then I'd look out that one big window. Sigh. So much for changing the world.
One thing has certainly changed - - you are now ten years old. You have beautiful long, brown hair and you’ve always been daddy’s little brown eyed girl. You are smart, [insanely] funny, and have a wickedly serious imagination. And I miss you everyday as you bounce off to day camp this summer.
I found a paper you wrote last month in school. Here is a portion of what it said:
"I love my Mom. My Mom has two jobs. Her first job is being my Mom. Her second job is buying a lot of clothes to sell. However, even though my Mom does very well at job #2, she does a better at job #1. HELPING ME!" And then, in her [then 9 year old] wisdom, she said, "I can help change the world by being a Mom. Mom’s teach children."
Your words pierce through me [especially today]. I think back to those simpler, condo days. How quickly time has slipped through my hands. Now, especially, as I long for the time [back] to look into your eyes without any other responsibility or interruption. As for dinner? You know, I'm usually scrambling to get it on the table by 6:30. And you certainly know I do not color coordinate your clothes. You’re lucky if I fold them!
But today as your father &I celebrate the life of you ---- my healthy, funny, talented, emotional, understanding & thoughtful Peanut. I cannot help but feel grateful. Blessed. Loved. Lucky to have you to share my life with.
You are my #1.
I am proud to be your Mom.
Happy "Double Digit" Birthday Peanut.
Love,
Your Mom
[ok, fine, and Dad too] ;)
