Friday, September 24, 2010

Do You Really Want To Hurt Me - CC

This is the only song that came to mind, for that entire gruling hour, I met with "A" yesterday.

A:  Hi Barbie!  Didn't wear your cute little belt?  What if you get thirsty while we chat?
Emz: Oh Ken, you are my knight in shining armour.  You will fight for me.  Die for me.  Deydrate for me.

[Fine.  What I did say was] . . . "Bite Me.  It's sorted.  let's move on". 

*    *    *     *[more on this topic later - after I chill out at least 48 hours or after an intense wii boxing match tonight]*    *    *    *

Now, I love movie quotes almost as much as I love music titles

The problem is, working from home, I rarely get to share my unique talent with others. 

And the Pita, well he knows some movie lines but not the classics [i.e, Goonies, Better off Dead, Clueless, Tommy Boy, Airplane ("don't call me shirley" and the awesome sequels), Mr. Mom, Farris Buller, etc].  He knows more like Grease, Gone with the wind & the subtitled, Sci-Fi & kung-Fu type movies].  Which makes it pretty hard to crack a funny when no one around here gets it.

Wait ---- m a y b e , I'm just not funny?!?  Naaaaa. That can't be it.

But this quote pretty much sums up the last 7 days of my [running, race, personal] life:

Jack Butler: My wife and I went to the movies the other day, we saw Rocky. While I'm watching it, I'm thinking 'This guy has taken some falls' you know.

Auto Worker 1: Which Rocky was it? 1 or 2, or 3?

Jack Butler: I don't know. Three I guess. But...

Auto Worker 2: Hey, did the guy have a mo-hawk like Mr. T?

Jack Butler: OK forget Rocky. The point is... when you're down, not not exactly out... I mean, I mean you gotta hang tough... I don't know.

Auto Worker 1: Well Hang tough baby! Do what Rocky would do!

[walks out]

Auto Worker 1: He didn't see Rocky .
So guys, when the Running store guy asked me a few days ago "so how are you going to tackle this race? you going to break it down?  what will you do at mile 29?  what's your game plan for this 50 miler? "
And I paused, smirked then gave him a big white toothed grin and said, "to finish".
Even though this is NOT the answer he was looking/hoping for.
I'm not going to race this race.  Call me a wuss, if you want.  I'm just in it to finish.  And I'm totally fine with that.
But on the subject of "Ken". I don't need him.


KovasP said...

Not just finish, but you'll enjoy the race. That white toothed grin will be full of bugs, but that's just good protein, right? Don't forget you are the Fitness Fairy! I'll say it again, you are my hero just for signing up.

Quinton J said...

...just for signing up? I won't even visit the website!
Finish the race you will.

Laurie said...

I think while you are in the process of finishing the race, you should strap Barbie into your new hydration pack so she can flip off all the people you finish in front of. Maybe she can score a buckle too.

Sarah said...

Hahaha!!! The picture cracked me up.

Adrienne said...

Finishing the race is really what it is all about isn't it? The speed we are going doesn't really matter as long as we are heading in the right direction. (This has deep meaning just for you my sister EMZ!) You're amazing. We all signed up once upon a time. We are all in our own race and we all MUST finish. Good luck!

Caratunk Girl said...

YES!! You will totally finish the race - and really, like Kovas said, you are my hero for signing up!!

Love the barbie picture ha

Emz said...

Adrienne. Thank you. Loved that.

Karine said...

Laughing all the way home. See you soon. So happy to hear your goal is to "finish" not "set a record".

RockStarTri said...

Even though you are in it to finish (note I didn't say just finish), I doubt you'll let yourself get dropped by either a Barbie or a Boy George avatar. Rock on!

Rae said...

I know you will finish. You can do it! You don't have to be the fastest or the winner. Just to finish a 50-mile race is absolutely amazing...just like you!

Matty O said...

ok. Number one, you are awesome haha. Love your account on the events.

Number two... careful on the Wii boxing, H and I were BOTH sore from playing the Wii the other night... ugh, lame.

Number three, GREAT game plan. I like your approach, that is how I would do it too :) Couple reasons. You have NO IDEA how to pace that distance (do you?) And, I would treat this race as a data race. Go out there and get data and then you can determine your pace/plan for the next one :)

Number four, when/if you get tired, think of Mr. Ken. 'nuff said.

How can anyone call someone running 50 miles a wuss? Just saying, seems like an oxymoron or something.

Jenny said...

Just finish? No way. You'll finish and look fabulous doing it. Even if you're covered in mud and have bugs in your teeth.

I am so in love with your Barbie doll pic. I totally agree with Laurie. Strap Barbie in your hydration pack and tote her along. Hey, maybe Barbie has a trail running outfit!

Run on.

Emz said...

Matty-O - who you calling a moron? ;)
on the "sore" wii comment - [don't tell anyone but I've literally hurt myself playing secret is safe with you, right?!]

Matty O said...

EMZ - you are not the only one HAHA!

It is one fun game console though. Luckily no remotes have gone in our fireplace or through our TV (knocking on wood as I type).

Hey no worries on the running, keep your head up and plow through. Can't wait to hear how many people you beat! You might want to cover the abs up though... just saying, you may intimidate the majority of the running field and they might quit before the race even starts.

Marlene said...

DUDE, there is nothing "wussy" or "Barbie" about 50 miles. That is all!

Emz said...

That's what Ken told me. But not that it'd intimidate just that'd it would make me look "stupid". Yep he said STUPID. Awesome.

Laura said...

You should just bring a Barbie head with you...attach it to your shoe perhaps?
ENJOY the are going to rock it.

Emz said...

Laura - I'm doing it. I'll take barbie head weight. Awesome.

Anonymous said...

My kids like to reminisce about the time I actually tripped and fell down hard while planning tennis on the Wii.
Go ahead and laugh, but I was going for a fast ball!

RunningLaur said...

Who has a race plan for their first 50? Really?! That's just asking for disaster. You're totally right on the 'finish' route and I just hope that employee wasn't someone at the Den being an idiot - I hang my head in shame. (But, I wouldn't expect anyone at Roadrunner to know what a 50 is...)

RunningLaur said...

Oh, and FYI - I took my Nathan Vest out for a short test last night and COULD NOT get the water out of it for the life of me. Turns out it's a pull-nozzle on the end and not a bite-nozzle like the camelbak I've had in the past. It took like 6 hours and 2 emails for me to figure that out. Talk about a dumb blonde Barbie like moment... so word to the wise - try and drink out of it before you leave for the race! (I'm assuming I'm the only idiot who can't figure it out on her own though... seriously, dumb.)

Emz said...

RL - So freaking hilarious. It was ROADRUNNER!!

And thank you for the heads-up on the sucky thing. Hadn't tried it out yet. ;)

Shellyrm ~ just a country runner said...

Finishing is what every race is about.
1. Finish
2. Finish feeling fine
3. Finish feeling fine having fun!

Goals can't get much better than that.

I can't wait to read all about it!

ShutUpandRun said...

Everyone needs a little Ken in their life. Just ask my husband, Ken.

Oh for god's sake. If you said you were going to race this thing I would come over there and call you Barbie just to punish you. YES!! Finish. That's it. We want you alive back here to tell us about it in the form of song titles: "Looks Like We Made It" Barry Manilow or "I'm Not Running Anymore" John Cougar Mellencamp.

Right now it's all about "I Will Survive."

Emz said...

SU&R - just when I thought I couldn't possibly adore you any more. Your comment -- it's a "winner". I know, I know .. I hate Jamie Foxx too.

Ummm, sorry Ken.

Cari Mugz said...

One day I will sign up for a race to win... but for now it's just to finish!!!

"Just" to finish 50 miles is truly AMAZING....

Ken is a MORON! When in doubt reread Matty O's comment...

Johann said...

Your attitude is right, just go and finish the race. Just relax and run. Do your own thing.

Jen Feeny said...

You've totally got this, don't let anyone tell you otherwise!

Aimee said...

I love Laurie's idea of you strapping a barbie to your hydration pack...ha ha..that would just be too funny!
I loved your answer to the running store guy. To finish is the best game plan and I have NO doubt that you will finish!

DRog said...

LOCK: strap in the Barbie and make sure she is giving the finger or flupping off or some kind of gesture if possible.

The gratest part about this post: the "label" unmotivating people. hahaha!!!

Teamarcia said...

Holy crap, finishing 50 with an intact Barbie head onboard sounds like quite an accomplishment to me.

Tiffany said...

Ok so I totally know that movie line...but can't remember the name of the movie. OH and I was gonna tell ya that yeah to finish will be an accomplishment in itself, that and being able to still walk upright once it's over. Good Luck girl!

ConcreteNCoffee said...

I don't think "wuss" and "50-mile ultra" can coexist in the same sentance, paragraph, or blog post.

Besides which, I read somewhere once that as the distance grows, the gender time gap shrinks. So yea, you don't need Ken!

Julie said...

You are going to be just fine! 50 miles or bust:)

Silly Girl Running said...

50 miles? Hello, finishing = winning on that one! You amaze me!

Angie said...

There is an article in self magazine this month about an ultra runner. She will make you feel inspired. You will be amazing.

5 Miles Past Empty said...

I'm sorry but you lost me at the picture. HILARIOUS. It cracked me up. Yep, still snorting a nasal laugh.

My first goal is always to finish, goal #2: finish with a smile! you'll do great!!!!

The Boring Runner said...

you can get a good look at a T-bone by sticking your head up a butcher's ass... No, wait. It's gotta be your bull.

Emz said...

Adam. Awesome.