un-thinkable [I'm ready]

So we are off.

Just in case you want to check out the sweet course map for yourself.  Here it is.

There's still time for you to sign up!

Man, I'm hoping, praying, pleading, dreaming this goes well.  Actually, I'm thinking it going "great" --- would be awesome.

Thanks for all the support.  It truly has meant so much to me.

We are family - hear us roar

"we are family"

[Peanut's creation from Sunday night]

My passions do extend further than my treadmill.

I'm a family girl.

I love my family. I love to cook.  I love traditions.

I am lucky blessed.

Truly.

I grew up in a Glendale, AZ home where, every week night, we ate dinner. Together. My Dad would walk in no later than 5:05pm every week day.  If 5:15 ever rolled around and Dad was a no-show . . . . panic.  Instant panic.  Hey, he was a banker with [mostly] bankers hours.  My mother was, and is (except for the time she tested a new recipe "wheat meat" - oh yummy) an exceptional cook. I guess this is what comes with the territory when your mom has published 6 cookbooks - bring on the  t e s t i n g !  People covet her roll recipe. I've spent years trying to do her pie crust justice. Her soups are a Rx for mending a broken heart & healing the soul. And I know my dad lives for her rump...um roast.

                                                  [the sweet table]

I recall vividly, as a young girl, we’d all gather to kneel in prayer and eat around that faux wood octagon table, with its horrible wicker stand {which is NOW very chic}, and wait, watching, anticipating each bowl/platter we'd soon be handed to partake of.  always feeling something important. And meaningful. Something bigger, and stronger, than our yearning for food. Something beyond my childish understanding. Something deeper than my appreciation could have ever understood or recognized at 8 or 18 years of age.

I was safe. I felt safe.  I belonged. I felt comfortable.  I was valued. And adored.


I mattered.

Fast forward to 2010 . . . me.  here.  with my family, with my child and my own home.  my own kitchen table. And after a sometimes exhausting day, with work, volleyball, running, tennis & karate lessons, working out, homework, chores and [some days] frustrated tears, we all plop down, around our table (which TODAY is sadly HUGE for the three of us) for dinner. Together.

After a few tastes of homemade goodness has reached each tummy, the mood always changes, the noise somehow fades & smiles randomly begin to appear. An unspoken happiness passes from face to face. I watch as Peanut, relaxes, and opens up. She giggles through unimportant details of her day, the funny joke her friend said at lunch [which we rarely "get"], who’s feeling were hurt today at school, which boys her dad may need to scare away slightly, in some way. The silly "then SHE said", "then I said" conversations between her friends that really never quite end in a "normal" or understandable fashion. She rattles off insignificant thoughts about everything from pencils to pandas.

But as she speaks, with such enthusiasm, candor and ease, nothing that she says feels unimportant. Or insignificant. Or silly even in the slightest. The Pita & I listen, intently, to every word we can understand. We smile. We laugh. And suddenly, it will hit me.  a familiar emotion will settle inside me. A feeling I felt my whole childhood.  A tradition kept alive. In these moments, her words, our laughter, the food...it all seems so important. Even, vital.  to us.  to our happiness.  to us being a family.

It matters. traditions matter.  Peanut matters. We matter. Families - big & small --- matter.

So now, I do what my mother did for me. I tie on my apron [which I adore], turn on the jukebox - when time allows, and cook. For my family. I invite them, without words, night after night [ok more like every second night], to leave the outside world, if for only twenty, sacred minutes, to come together, around our GINOURMOUS table, and feel safe. Welcomed. Valued. And, especially, adored.

A "Family Anniversary", was planned a few months back. While I was at a store shopping, for work ……. an employee asked why I was so rushed. I explained I was planning a "family anniversary" tonight and had to hurry home to finish the cooking. She informed me that, cooking was "degrading". While I could present a whole post just on that [the answer I gave her] - I will just say - -It is NOT degrading. Or brainless. Or pointless work. Rather, it feels like, maybe, the most important thing I get to do on a regular basis.

Trust me.

It matters.

Dinner matters. Family matters. Traditions Matter.

Traditions are like spiritual and emotional cement in the foundation of a happy home. They create fond memories, and these memories bond us together as nothing else can.

I can only hope & pray I am helping to make Peanut's childhood even 1/10th as happy as mine was.

I am so thankful.

Just another random "thought" post

hopefully, by next week I'll be with it enough to put together a "proper" blog post but until then . . . . . . this is what's occupying/weighing on my little brain today.

*  I long for the return of the day when I could actually get $30.00 of gas.  not $30.01.  not $29.99.  one tiny squeeze of the gas pump = .05 cents.  my credit card statement looks so weird with the odd numbers.

*  I love what I found in Peanut's room this morning.  Her Saturday "chore card".  Loving what she felt compelled to "add-on" - - just in case she forgot.

*  supermodels are NOT role models.  Kate Moss is tiny because her job [sadly] requires her to be. But that shouldn't make her an inspiration. If my daughter wants be to like Victoria Beckham - or anyone else gracing the pages of the women's fashion magazines - when she grows up, I'll not have done my job very well.

*  I miss NCAA basketball.  NBA finals - - - boring.

*  I'm bummed my sister won't be running in the half marathon this Saturday.

*  I wish my cereal would get soggy already [sorry Amy, it's the only way I can eat it with milk]

*  Thank you to the person who asked me last night, "do you really think you'll finish" [the marathon Saturday].  Maybe that was the encouraging thought I've been needing.  Just for you "Mrs. X" . . . I'll be pushing myself twice as hard.  In your face?  who me? nahhhh ; )

*  What color of nail polish for Saturday?  Hey, it's a ritual & I'm sticking to it.

*  I don't get people who wear sunglasses inside stores.

*  people who hum creep me out [I've seen "fallen" too many times].

*  why do some friendships require so much work?  Does that mean they are the really "good" ones or the "toxic" ones?

*  Unless your running, working out or doing yard work . . . I greatly dislike men in tank tops.  Yep, even those who have chiseled arms.

*  Loving the woman who actually asked if it was ok if she turned off the fan at the gym last night.  She wasn't really loving my, "um, please don't" reply though.  Hey, I said please.

*  probably was a bad idea to eat that slice of red velvet cake . . . for breakfast.

*  that as much as I hate [HATE] what Tiger Wood's did.  I still think it was wrong for the Master's [president/director/what ever] to blast his personal life on national television prior to the tournament starting. 

*  hoping that tonight's "Modern Family" episode is NOT a re-run.

and finally

*  can someone PLEASE email me / comment to me on what the last week of a "taper" should really look like?   4 marathons behind me and I don't think I've ever done a successful taper.

thank you

My garden of weaknesses

weaknesses.

I have many.

Here are just a few:

*  If I feel mom-guilt, I'll pretty much buy Peanut [most] anything she asks for while grocery shopping [very dumb].

*  homemade bread with butter [a lot of butter].

*  running/training hills [I'd rather stick forks in my eyes]

*  moderation.  hate this one.  If three miles is good 12 has to be better.

*  trust.  Takes me a  l o n g  time to really trust people & their intentions.

*  people who ask me for money outside of stores.  I'm sure they really do use it to catch the bus.  If not, who cares? [well, the Pita cares but . .]

*  speaking without thinking it through first.

*  talking fast.  Like people can't understand what I'm saying fast.

*  quick to react [mostly, a bad thing, not always]

*  delegating.  If I do it all myself, I don't have to waste time explaining what I want to see happen.

*  still thinking I can run my business without anyone else.  The Pita has begged me to higher a HS girl to help me out with mundane things {photos/measurements}.  [uggg, see above.  don't want to take the time to teach someone else].

*  laundry.  I love doing laundry.  seriously.  2 loads per day [yes, for only the 3 of us].

*  cereal.  could eat dry cereal for 2 out of 3 meals.

*  heels.  very high heels.  yep, these are still my favorites. [yes, the ones I was chastised for wearing at church . . . judge not ? what ?  I'm here right?!]  yes, I still wear them [to church] whenever I possibly can . . . which brings me to . .

*  confrontational.  I have a problem confronting people.  I should probably need to have more restraint.

*  filet. filet Mignon.  Morton's filet mignon.  what I had last night.  What I am still on a "high" from this very morning.

honestly.  crack on a plate.  I could not eat it  s l o w  enough.

The best meal I have ever eaten.  Maybe it's not in the running guide for great pre-race foods.  But this weakness has a serious grip/choke hold on me.  And I'm running with it.

What's your one food "weakness"?

AM I nuts?

don't answer that.

So a week or so ago my mom informed me there was a write up in the AZ Republic on the WRM I am running in . . . . 5 days.  Her text:  "I saved it for you to read.  Looks REALLY challenging".

understatement.

I kinda over looked the part where you gain 1,800 feet [thought it was 1,200] in the first 7 miles then you do this super awesome [sarcasm] drop of 1,400 feet at mile 13.  Yea, I know that should be good but you turn around at 13.  I hope I make it to the celebration of life/funeral at 3pm [that same day].  Otherwise, it may be my celebration of life that day too. 

Comment I loved in the article, "You're not a runner until you do Whiskey Row".  [says who?]   I'm guessing a PR would be a complete laughing matter. 

oh man, needing some encouragement here folks.

9 random things + $15 gift card

1.  loving that the car in front of me at McD's this morning paid my bill.  loved it.  Hoping, next time it'll be the time I'm buying 20 sausage biscuits for the pita's co-workers not just Peanut's $1.08 breakfast. ;) [Bad joke].  I am so grateful no matter the amount.  what an excellent random act of kindness.  Thank you man in the HUGE silver Ford truck!  I will be paying it forward today.

2.  the Pita informed me this morning he's hoping to go shooting in our "spare time" [ha] after the marathon, [hopefully] after fishing and before the "celebration of life" funeral I/we get to attend 4 hours post marathon.

3.  that we get to go to our favorite hamburger place in Cave Creek tonight after Peanut's volleyball games.  She's hoping for more of these photos.

[and once she turns 14 she'll be hoping for a cut-out like that one too.  sorry peanut those hoo-hoos, they do not run in the family gene pool.

4.  why is my sister still holding out on me regarding her decision about: running the half marathon portion, next Saturday?

5.  peanut made this sweet cape for Chuy to wear during my 5/1 marathon.  Ummm, he's not invited.

6.  That our friends we met on our cruise last year will be coming to visit this summer.  Yes, the ones who are 1-2 feet shorter than us. [no, they are not a step below us in this photo].

7.  That while I am so looking forward to celebrating my mom this mom's day.  I'm not looking forward to the other reminder of this day.

8.  That I cracked up when I read Big Daddy Diesel's comment about the Garmin watch.  So reminded me of this post.

9.  A huge "GOOD LUCK & ROCK IT" to Angie on Sunday!! 

................and now for the winner of the $15 iTunes card.  By the way, loved soooooooo many of the songs.  Loved how different they all were.  I thought for sure Pam had nailed it then I [finally] found the song Kelly Leigh was referring to.  Ummmmm, ya I was searching for "Anything Sneaky Sound System" and [funny thing] it's just "Sneaky Sound System"....... yes, I know I am such a dork.  Good thing, I enjoy/am completely okay laughing at myself ---- often.

Check it out for yourself [just be sure to leave the word "anything" out].

Sneaky Sound System - "pictures".

awesome.  Thanks Kelly!  Email me with your address!!

Motivated by a 5 year old

Loving this kid.  Click below:

"This is your time"

* Now, after hearing this, I am off to run 26 miles at a 6 minute per mile pace [ha, in my d r e a m s] - hey, it's MY TIME, right?! * ;)

Hope you each have a "go out there and KICK IT" kind of day!

[Thanks Michelle!]