Monday, June 14, 2010

I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

I loved this line in the song "pain" [by Three days grace] when I heard it this morning while running.  "I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all"

I am an emotional being.

I cry a lot.

To others I know, I present a picture of contentment. Most people would assume I am happy with the circumstances of my life, [don't get me wrong, I AM] but I attribute my disposition to something else - my awareness of how fragile life is.

Some people hide their feelings - I embrace them.

There is something so real about experiencing pure, unadulterated emotion. Don't get me wrong, I delight in the tingling warmth of joy, but I have to say, more often than not, it's the pain and sadness that remind me most of my humanity.

Sometimes its a realization - a strong sense of love for my family, an appreciation for my life and it's gifts.  Sometimes a memory will flash through my brain, other times, a simple moment of empathy.

Whatever it is, I'll take it.

I'll take that feeling and suck on it like a Werther's Original candy, wanting, hoping to prolong the experience.

I think that's one of the greatest gifts I have been given - the ability to [intensely] feel.

I feel they give me a better take on life - and that's what keeps me going.

Do you ever take the time to consider the emotional path traveled by other individuals?  The guy in front of you at the post office?  The grouchy lady at the grocery store?  Some of us are walking wounded - carrying inside the fear, heartbreak, loneliness, disappointment of diminished dreams.  Others may be full of hate & anger.

I had lunch with a new-ish friend last week.  I'd compare her to a M & M.  Slightly hard, thin, outer candy shell. . . . but once she knew she could trust me . . . she showed me a side of her that could only be described as wonderful, warm & friendly.  Her "story" hit me like a ton of bricks.  .  .  the pain she has experienced in her life.  But it is a part of her.  Who she is today.  She embraces it.

I am an emotional being.

I embrace it.


Anne said...

What a beautiful post...thank you!

Aimee said...

This is an awesome post!

Jamie said...

Wow, very beautiful! It's thought invoking, for sure.

misszippy said...

That's a great, thought-provoking post. Sometimes we get so caught up in all the rat race that we forget to stop and just feel.

Karine said...

Your gift of sensitivity is only one of the MANY talents you possess. Thanks for embracing this gift.

Teamarcia said...

You express your emotion so beautifully.

Pam @ said...

I went through a really rough patch about 6 years ago. I was in such emotional pain that after a while I forced myself to just shut off. For a long time, I felt nothing. No sadness, no joy, no anger, no delight. Nothing. I thought I was being strong, but it turns out that there's a big difference between being strong and being numb. When I started to really FEEL again, it was so overwhelming.

BTW, I looooooove me some Three Days Grace! I saw them in concert a couple months ago. :)

Unknown said...

Just counted my blessings and the list is long :) Thanks girlie!

Anonymous said...

if i could, i would give you a big hug. and then i would probably cry because that was all so true and wonderfully spoken. thanks em!

Johann said...

Beautiful post, thanks for sharing that!

wendy said...

Very nice post. I am an emotional being as well!

Big Daddy Diesel said...

Wow, great post

I admit I have a wall up around me

Madison M. said...

I am an emotional being as well.. I put up a front of being "tough" but in truth some of the smallest things can really get to my feelings. Great post!!

Tri-James said...

Well said.

The Boring Runner said...

After reading this, I couldn't help but wonder what kind of candy I'd be. Hmmm