Competition

com*pe*ti*tion (kmp-tshn) : the act of competing; rivalry

[prologue]

I'm what some [okay - everyone] would call competitive. Well, maybe more like "M & P Harward Competitive" - or possibly . . . okay you get it.

My DNA comes from one amazing athlete of a father & a mother who can "cheer" up a storm intertwined with a little fancy rollerskating action. [Sweet mix.]

I remember [constantly] - asking my brother go head to head with me in "show down" form. Push-ups, sprints, sit-ups, chin-holds & even "horse". Everything was a competition. Who can shower faster [ewww gross - wonder how many body parts I missed during that shower], who could ride to school faster, who could deliver the penny saver faster [loved those $8 checks], who could eat more waffles/bran muffins/pancakes [w/o the threat of barfing]. . . . .[Did Mom ever get to eat?] . . .

....once you add in Stake Olympics [Glendale, AZ style] - - I didn't stand a chance at NOT being competitive. Have 24th ward win?!? As if, I'd let that happen. Staying up until the wee hours making the "perfect cheesecake". Practicing ping-pong in the garage [yes, it's a sport & yes, I was the reigning champ of singles & doubles {where is Ben James now anyway?!} ]. Volleyball & 7th ward - that was our speciality!! I can still hear Brother Harward & my Dad yelling from the sidelines [in the cultural hall, even], for their respective children. We were machines, I tell you - m a c h i n e s. Okay, all joking aside - - - this was the norm. Contests / competitions / challenges - - this was life as I knew it and I loved it!

Anyway . . . here's my question [to all 3 people who read this]. I'm now much older - I still do this! [No, not the shower thing.]

But - why do I have this "competitive fight" in me?

Is it bad? [I personally, don't think it's 100% bad - as I know it can be very motivating] But lately, I am finding it has it's down side. I usually crave competitive opportunities. Iron-Chef Orange Jell-O anyone? I wish I was kidding.

So what if there was a friend you wish was a closer/best[er] friend but you find yourself actually huffing her name [if you click on the link - don't miss out on the "comments" - uggg - I really wrote those?!] most days because she's just as competitive as you? It's tiring. Nope not because I couldn't smoke her at 99% of most things [there I go again]. That's a joke! [or is it?!] ;) Because I want [oddly] so badly to have a "normal" friendship. One of encouragement - encouraging of each other - at all times. Even when we are head to head --- I silently dream of hearing, "come on Em", "you can do it", "hang in there"! And like-wise I want to say those things . . . have I become "soft"?

I don't think so. Am I finally "growing up"? Probably not. Maybe I just don't want to mess up a good [potentially amazing-lifetime] friendship - thing.

Thanks for the competitive nature Dad [truly] - I can't wait to actually focus it 100% on ME - - BEING A BETTER ME. Not me trying to out-do others. Maybe this is where the real fun & happiness lies.

why?

About 2 hours ago I rushed into my local Basha's to buy Drain-O [not even going to explain this - it'll be a much happier post if I do not]. While I was there [in super sweaty running clothes] I thought it'd be a perfect time to see if they'd be interested in donating/supporting their most frequent shopper [me] in her marathon quest for the Sojourner Center. I was greeted by a man I chat with frequently about "The Flight of the Concords" episodes.

I pitched him my deal all the while clenching my drain-o. I stopped. I was done [talking]. He just stood there. Jaw semi-dropped. Eyes looking confused. Pen tapping his other palm. Just as I was about to say, "umm - so what do ya think?". He says, "why?".

Why am I raising money?

No - I get that part - that's great & I will make sure we donate something to our customer who is in here twice daily." [yep - he actually said that] ..... [what can I say - I like fresh ingredients].

Why do you run? Seriously - why?

I sat there like I was waiting for a cream puff sample at Costco. Big eyed. Mouth starting to water. However, there wasn't an 80 year old to knock me down with her cart to get the first cream puff sample.

"so" . . . why?

Do you really enjoy it? Is it just to raise money?

I wish I remembered exactly what I said to him. I know there was something about "alone", "quite", "air", "de-stressing", etc. Must have been good enough for him as he said, "Ya, I guess that makes sense. I'd just rather read outside." [And I'd rather eat cream puffs all day at Costco but .....]

But as I am a self diagnosed over-thinker . . . I continue to think about this "why" question.

Why?

I came up with these:

b e c a u s e :

1. I can. I can run [maybe not as fast as some] but I can for a really long time.


2. I can do something good with a talent I have been given.


3. it clears my head.


4. one of the few times outside a "spiritual setting" I feel at peace


5. I feel strong.


6. I feel empowered.


7. the pride you feel after is so worth the [knee] pain.


8. reduces any anxiety I may be feeling.


9. my dog likes it [don't call the SPCA - I only take him 4 miles].


10. I like to hear my feet hit the ground [odd, but true]


11. I like to know I am pushing myself.


12. Because I now suck at my "past life" [volleyball]. This white girl no longer has "hops".


13. to stay married. ;)


14. to run next to my Peanut on her bike.


15. it makes me happy.

*Think Costco is sampling cream puffs right now?* I'm off to check.

things I've been thankful for in the last 72 hours . . .

. . . a Nana & Papa who adore my Peanut. I want to be a kid again. Note Nana's Barefoot Dreams robe - - the ultimate in luxury.

I have the best doctor - ever. Should something happen to the Pita - this is my guy. Seriously - this guy cares more about me than I do! Who's doctor calls you at home just to check in on you? Schedules you an appointment with a dietitian [in his spare time], hand picks a knee specialist for you? Gives you his cell phone #?

m i n e.

[nope he's not taking new patients --- says me.]

I'm thankful for my 5" heels and my super tall hubby. okay, now seriously, they are not a step below us - we are just giants [and they are the cutest, tiniest UT couple ever - well besides Wade & Cass].

. . that my neighbor [with the dog the size of a rhino] - is teaching me patience and anger management.

. . . that Peanut knew no one "in their right mind" would want this tree with the tumor-like branches at the bottom - - - so it's just the one for us!

. . . that we didn't need to measure the tree. "Mom it measures 2 Peanuts!"

. . . friends who make me go to Phoenix Greyhound races for the "cultural experience". Miss you already, Cass.

. . . My friend. Such an example to me of not sweating the small or even big stuff [for that matter]. She amazes me today [and most every other day I speak/text/email her]. Nothing is better than a friend who adores you and whom you adore back [x2]. I'm lucky.

MY happiness today - brought to you by

.... My Peanut and her gynormous jar of Jellie Bellies [thanks Costco]!

Found this after she had left for school. * Yes, I did notice all the watermelon, cherry, grape, buttered popcorn, {etc - all the good ones} had been eaten - still happy.

It's a Happy Mom Day.

As "Molly" as I wanna be

First, let me start off by saying: I am an over thinker. If someone in the grocery store says, "that's a wild shirt" - first thought --- awe thanks, I love it too. Then as they pass, my brain kicks into over-drive. Does that mean they like it or hate it? What does wild really mean? Note to self google "wild" while standing in checkout line. Now, I'll honestly tell you - - if the comment turned out to be not so positive, I'd probably wear it more often. I just have a really good outlook that way. ;) You hate it? It's now my favorite. I just love to give people more of what they [unknowingly] want.



Sooooooooooooo - there is this lingering [bad smell of a text ] conversation that's been brewing between me & Mrs. P as to where I fall in the "Molly" category.


I was told a few weeks back something like this, "you? a Molly? ya, right. [but she didn't stop, as she should have] "M" [mutual friend] is a Molly, has it all together and at such a young age..." Now prior to that last dig I was like sweet - I never wanted to be a Molly.
Soooooo - Mission accomplished! [or was it?!]



To ease the "sting" of the lemon juice in my paper cut she added, "you are intimidating by how you look, dress, etc [and I quote] but you don't have the Molly thing down". I think I learned this concept in college "sandwich effect" - - jab/nice/jab --- she made the sandwich perfectly.



But then, something happened. I looked over the [worldly] "looks" comment [should have taken it and run - [fast] - I mean seriously - they can write that on my grave right?] "Here's the Molly who went down intimidating others by looking sweet [ha] & owning killer heels [I'll agree with that]." Alas - - - My life has purpose!!



But instead - - - I spent the next 4 texts - sticking up for me.

I bake bread. I wake at 5:30am to make the Pita a hot breakfast every morning. I iron. I send the Pita to work with lunch-daily. I do 2 loads of laundry a day. I can things [usually my ideas - but that's canning]. I rotate my food storage - I mean, shoes. I do FHE. We sing "kumbaya" every night.



PLUS - I do all of these:



Ya, right.



SO what is a "Molly" and who is one? After reading this then praying, then fasting, then drinking my hot cider then a diet-coke. I'm going to pass on Molly.....because I want to. Is there a benefit to being a "Molly" that I don't know about?



Hey, if I can vacuum, cook, run errands in stilettos - why would I wear flip/flops, an apron and Bermuda's? I'll be this "jane" any day. Just pretend her dress has cap sleeves.

They call me Jane. Just not plain Jane.

Truth be told Snow White

I am grumpy. Not even because Happy has "happy" covered. And not even because I want to be the "fairest in the land". Frankly today - could care less. I could be Barbie or the leather skinned chain smoker in front of Walgreen's - not going to change the fact I'm grumpy. I won't be bashful, I'd even take feeling dopey over this funk.

Why you ask? [If you didn't - you've just made me grumpier - just stop reading now and go find your friend's happy blog post today.]

• I'm tired
• I sleep like crap
• Pita snores - send fix it remedies
• Peanut is sick & is "sneezy" / snotty
• Can't get a hold of my "doc"
• My friend is here & I haven't seen her since Sunday
• Pita has vacation days he can't even take [too busy]
• because my family doesn't even read this [other than Mom] - thanks Harward's, Wright's & Partridge's for pulling through
• My family doesn't "comment". I like comments people - take 5 seconds and do this -- " :) " -- that's it!!
• My knee is screaming - that actually makes me more mad than grumpy.
• My head hurts
• My dog won't stop barking - maybe that's why my head hurts?
• That because I have one child that means [to some] - that I'm less busy.... right.
• Because I work from home - I can drop anything I am doing and help you [every time].
• I can't find anyone to give a talk on Sunday in Primary
• Can't find someone to cover my huge secretarial duties this Sunday.
• That my job is my hobby not my business. Do I really have to work outside of the home or give people statistics to take me seriously?
• Four people contacted me in 2 days from church to have me list their things - no sorry - I'm mean. I'll help you with 1-3 items not your whole garage.
• I have no idea what to buy my parents & the Pita for C-mas.
• All my fruit & veggies smell like pickles [I'm too proud to throw them out].
• That I emailed my friend for her birthday [meaning to call later & didn't].
• That I have not yet reached my fundraising goal for my marathon. Nice time to raise funds [bad economy & C-mas] could I have picked a worse time?!
• That a "friend" offered to donate money if I found her husband's Christmas presents. Seriously???

I'll stop now. You can thank me later for making your day better.

random

Why?

What possessed me yesterday to buy 1 gallon dill pickles? [yes, on my 5th visit to Costco in 3 days - yes, I have a problem - yes, I'm fine with it.] Was it: the $3.49 price tag? The look of "my Mom rocks" I knew Peanut would give me when she saw them? The fact this same dollar amount would only buy me 24oz at my local Basha's? The look/comment from the Costco clerk [muffins & pickles, huh? You pregnant? Me: yes, I'm 7 days along. I slice up the pickles in place of butter on my muffins. Him: really? Me: No [you dork]. I am lacking in sodium? NO!

Apparently, I bought them so my fridge could [now] look like this.

Taaaa-Daaa!

Isn't she pretty? Only had to clean up 84oz of pickle juice to get this fine clean fridge at 5:45am. So completely [not] worth it.

Anyone have a recipe that calls for pickled apples?