Singing in the rain

Things I've loved since Sunday night . . .

Rain.  been raining on and off since Sunday. which = happy me.

This is the view from my back patio.  heaven to me. 

Talking [wait for it ... wait for it....] on the phone to my friend this morning.  even though she won't tell me what her [maybe] sadness/problem/dilemma is [I shouldn't take that personally right?!].

rain.

Seeing another friend's face light up.  to see little ole me. when I walked into her office this morning.  for her birthday.  a Tucson girl transplant.  first birthday in the BIG city. ;)

rain.

Peanut telling me this morning that she "prays for me" to be happy each day when she first sits down at her school desk.  random . .yes.  love it . . yes.

rain.

understanding sisters.  understanding mom.  and friends who try.

rain.

the human body.  incredible to think of all it does without us doing a thing.  incredible to think of all it does when we push it to do hard things.

rain.

Maybe I should move to Seattle when Brooke does?  This rain stuff is incredible.

rain is all that saved me from an even huge-r [my word - I like it] panic attack on Sunday night from the "ones" I try to avoid, like the plague. {see second bullet}

Oscar night.  with Peanut.  being dress judges.  my favorite:

Least favorite: [by far....]

Did you watch?

regrets for today

That I let my daughter wear her hair like this today.

Well, this isn't so bad.

The back kinda freaks me out.

The side view though --- the worst by far.

But seriously, what is a mom to do when her child walks out thinking, "I'm so totally rocking this look".  "Mom, doesn't this look awesome?"

[Now, I believe in being nice but I also believe in being honest.]

Me: Well, it's not my favorite look but we don't have to agree on everything.  If you love it.  Go for it.

Peanut:  How can you not love it Mom?  I look awesome.

Love this kid-o.

I swear she is just getting back at me for seeing this amazing "do" in my photo album.

Well - there's so much more wrong with this photo than JUST my aqua net hair.  Yes, the octagon-ish [yes, I know there are only 5 sides] earrings - they still should have screamed, "S T O P".  Yes, Chrystler did pay me to wear them.  Two dollar San Diego necklace from staying with the Pierson's - love it.  Braces?  Hey, I have straight teeth now. 

But yes, the hair . . . .  regretable.

Enjoy [ing] the silence

"We have so much in common, we both love soup and snow peas, we love the outdoors, and talking and not talking. We could not talk or talk forever and still find things to not talk about. - Best In Show

Last night was quiet.  weirdly quiet.  the best quiet. 

I remember [very] few bits of marital advice I have been given.  Some was requested others were in no way requested.  Either way . . . the one I think of often, is the one told to me by the man who performed our [1 of 2] ceremonies. two days before our wedding.  in his backyard.  we'll call him, "Bob" ; ). 

Bob said, "The one thing I will tell you to do & do often is to be together.  If that means he's golfing [thank goodness the Pita doesn't] go with him [but I insert shooting guns or basketballs].  If she's reading a book/magazine on the couch, sit by her.  If he's off to run an errand, you go too." 

I always have loved this comment.  Of course, it's not always do-able.  However, last night it happened.  quiet.  no tv.  a sleeping Peanut.  my running magazine.  a couch.  an approaching Pita.  a sitting Pita.  a sitting reading consumer reports, BY me - Pita.  quiet. 

I loved the [few and far between] moment of quiet.  no dishes, laundry, lunches for the next day.  just the comfortable, stress free moment where we don't talk about anything.  no daily nuggets of info to chat about.  not that I don't have them.  trust me.  I can talk for hours about [well] just about anything.  Our conversations flow freely - but last night wasn't about that.  it just felt good amazing to sit and experience the moment without saying a word.  a lot was said by being unsaid.  Because there isn't much that's unsaid.  it's all out there. 

I'm thankful for this moment [even though, I'm certain, he doesn't have a clue the "moment" even happened].  I felt good about myself and US.  I genuinely enjoyed his company.  without saying a word.

Are you there God? It's me Emz

Hi-
Yep, it's me [again].  even though I checked "in" last night, I thought I'd check "in" again being that my morning routine with you is less than optimal.  I'm doing very well.  I am trying harder each day to be more aware of what you have blessed me with.  little & big alike.  I'm trying to do better at enjoying each station this train of life makes me stop at.  Honestly, I don't like some of the stops.  Any chance of a "pass this stop [trial]" pass?  {figured it was worth trying}  You know, the ones where I'm forced to disembark the vessel for a quest I know I signed up for.  But, sometimes I find the picture to be slightly less breath-taking than the brochure alluded to, no offence.  However, each time I hop back on - I find the ride even more enjoyable?! [hmmm]

I just wanted to thank you for the new people you've placed in my journey lately.  I had been feeling a bit of negativity from a few people [who were probably just having a bad day themselves].  It's not that I give credence to what they say it's just that I'm sensitive [you know that], so the remarks feel like a mosquito bite where there is already a scab trying to heal.  Anyway - - thank you for the new friends I've made [even though 4 of them, I've never met . . . they do/are bringing happiness to my life].

Please continue to help me in my attempts to be a better me.  A better wife.  A better mom.  A better daughter.  A better friend.  A better neighbor.  A better person.  In little ways.  Each day.  Please help remind me - I can make someone have a better day, hour, minute by doing something, possibly something very, very small.

Can I beg a little patience off you today while I'm at it?  I jumped at Peanut yesterday.  As it turned out - a one minute hug fixed everything.  I was [possibly on purpose] clamoring dishes upon my return from achievement days last night when I found they had been left for me to do [not his words but rather my thoughts].  As it turned out he was on the computer trying to get things together for work tomorrow --- not aimlessly surfing the web for tactical gear.

Thanks for the texts from my family last night [even though they were about my dog].  I felt loved.  Thanks for the call from my Dad.  On his cell phone.  Thanks for helping him learn how to use it.  Thanks for reminding him to actually carry it some days.  Thanks for letting my parents think dinner I brought them was nice.  because it was tacky.  Chicken in a bag & a baguette of [albeit yummy] bread.  Thanks for helping/letting them lie when it's okay by you.

Well, thanks for the chat.  Time to get back to doin.  I hear my name being screamed from a porcelain throne, of sorts.  I'm grabbing my bag o' patience and getting on board.

Love,
Emz

I'll get you, my pretty, & your little dog too.

4:47 [am]

Seriously.  this is what time my fun began today. [where can I get one of those sarcmark things?]

Picture this:

[with less make-up and big bags under my eyes].  Figured - why even try so I got up to run.  As most mornings, I am greeted by Chuy.  Decided to let the poor little guy out to relieve himself before I started up the treadmill.

Now, anyone who knows me knows --- I'm not too good [actually really bad] at remembering to let this dog back in.  Which I've heard is pretty important.  But this dog, I couldn't pay him to runaway.  trust me.  I tried.

But this morning was different.  I let him out . . walked in to get things ready and it was like I was being blasted on the head by a 2 X 4 - - "go get Chuy" . . "go get Chuy". . "go get Ch____[ok, you get it] but I think I have a full-on bruise.

I open the door to see Chuy IN as in INSIDE a coyotes mouth. 

And no it didn't look like this:

It looked like this:

with an added $x,xxx dog in it's mouth.

What did I do, you ask?  Grabbed Peanut's rain boots outside the front door. {yet another blessing - my daughter wears rain boots - when it's not raining.  often.} and began to swat [air] with these purple camo rain boots.

So right now.  Chuy thinks I'm pretty great.  I can swing a mean boot.

Now, if I could just get him to pee outside since the little altercation, I could actually leave to run the errands I need to.

Anyone want to give him a bath? [smelling very "nature-y"]

Tuesday; the day of the week between Monday & Wednesday

And for me . . . the day I get to learn more about you!

1.  If I was stranded on a desert island I'd take: ___________________, ____________________ & _______________________________.

2.  If I could medal in any Olympic event I'd choose_______________.

3.  __________________ are/is the thing I fear the most.

4.  I'd rather ________________ everyday, than _______________ everyday.

5.  I am excited about_____________________________________.

6.  I really should be _____________________________________.

7.  One of my favorite things in the world is ____________________.

It's just what kids do

I'm reminded [pretty much daily] how awesome children are by the one [and only one] I currently am raising.

What is she teaching me?

"Mom, I bet if you smiled at the lady . . . . she wouldn't look so grumpy."

"Mom, that girl lives close to us but doesn't go to my school.  We are friends now."  [me] "Of course you are - you've known her for 45 seconds."

"Wait for me Mom.  Wait here." she leaves me in the card aisle at Hallmark [literally runs to the door] and opens it for a gentleman holding way too many boxes.

In grocery store:  "I like your shoes." Thanks Pean.... [then realize she's not talking to me but rather to a teenager buying gum].

"Mom, have a quarter?"  [I give it to her.  She says she'll be right back.  I watch.  Gets dropped into the Haiti Relief Fund jar.

the next one is the best [if I can write it] why am I so freaking emotional?!

To woman crying in Basha's [in card aisle] on Saturday.  "Are the cards sad?"  [Me] "Umm, I'm so sorry.  Ellie come over here."
Woman says, "No, please don't.  Yes, the cards can be sad...but I am sad because my 4 month pregnant daughter lost her baby today."  Ellie looks into her eyes, "That happened to my mom last year too.  It sucks*.  I'm sorry."

Lady looks at me.  I thinking [man why do I let her use that word [sucks]?]  Lady says, "Thank you.  That was the most heart felt offering of sympathy I think I have ever felt."  Peanut hugs her waist [?!?] and there are now three people crying in Basha's.

Today.

I'm trying. 

To be more like my nine year old.

*After talking with Peanut [about how awesome that was and why she used the words "sucks"].  She reminded me of what I had told others was probably the best thing someone did/said to make me feel better during this time.  It was a "this sucks" gift from two dear friends.  "this sucks" slice of carrot cake and tulips.  a big "this sucks" hug.  and "this sucks" card.  I think "sucks" is/was totally fitting.