"Don't Stop Believin'" - Journey

Dear God,

Yep, it’s me Emz.

Yes. Again.

I know I haven’t written in a while but our chat last night. Freaking. Rocked.

I just forgot to add . . .

Thank you x 444.

Thank you for:

• A daughter that is thoughtful and tender.

• A husband who calls me for no other reason than to say, “he misses me [at his desk at work]”
• A mom who always knows the right thing to say when I’m feeling BLAH.
• A friend who is ALWAYS there. No if’s, and’s, or butt’s but’s.
• All the non-judgmental people you have placed in my life [they do make up for the other ones].
• For giving me an OLDER brother.  And three rockin' sisters.  I just love knowing they are there.
• A Dad who knows I. break. down. every. word. he. says. as. “gospel. truth”. [well, other than that Obama stuff and the animal emails he forwards] ;) 
• A healthy body - that’s allows me to push it & run it into the ground [and that dang, occasional puke]
• A family that encourages me to be crazy. Believes in me. Never says, “why would you do THAT?”, or “I don’t get you.” What they do say, “you’ve. Freaking. Got. This.”
• My enemies. Well, this one is a work in progress. But I AM trying.
• Letting me whine sometimes.
• Understanding and caring about things that make ME - ME.
• Helping me be calmer.

• THAT moment yesterday. You know, when I may or may not have felt like throwing my 5” heel.  Until you reminded me, “it isn‘t worth it”
• Ohhhhhhh and thanks for letting Dawn have a cell phone . . . .AND one with unlimited texting to boot. Awesomeness.
• Thank you for not letting the scorpion sting me yesterday [especially, since I did take the photo when I thought he was dead].

• And finally, Matty-O thanks you for Bees.  For, if there were not bees, he would not have had as good of a chuckle yesterday.  Heather, you BEE one rockin' woman. 

Until. tonight.  I'm. out.

Emz

"Like My Style" - 50 Cent

So today . . .

is the first day of school.  Peanut is going into sixth grade.  CRAZY.

I got up extra early [ok, I meant to get up extra early].  But I did manage to crack this out before Peanut walked in:

[those 4's just make me so freaking happy!]
Then, I hurried and finished it up with the end result of this.

And some seriously [awesomely] tired legs.  Ya, step-up runs . . . [my legs are coming around to the thought of loving them]

Then it was photo time.

First day of school photo time.  Peanut hates this ritual.  Can't really blame her.

but. it. is. mandatory.

However, I went to grab my camera and she hit me with . . .

Peanut:  Mom, it's all about the shoes.  Just get the shoes.
Me: [thinking . . .what in the snot rag have I created?]
Me:  ya, ya but we need a full size "it's all about your happy face photo too"
Peanut:  well, my shirt is pretty cool.

Then the craziest thing happened . . .

Peanut:  you dropping me off or do you have time to walk me in?
Me:  [holy. freaking. crap.  Did I just get invited to walk her in?] you bet cha I have time.
Peanut:  just promise me you won't be like *Jane's* Mom who [as she leaves says], I love you Baby.  And gets all wiggy and lovey when she leaves.
Me:  deal.  no lovey.  just a big smooch.
Peanut: mom.
Me: ya ya got it no touching

Best. Morning.  Ever.

I said goodbye - she looked at me horrified.  Like oh man, how it she going to say "goodbye"?  hug? kiss?

I ran my hand over her back.
Ya, apparently, that was not what she wanted.
Told her I could do the running man all the way back to my car.
nope. denied.

So I just stood there looking at her.  [feeling super proud, by the way].

Flashed her a "rock on" sign with BOTH hands.
Her face lit up with a huge smile.

And I heard a little mumblish-whisper of an "Iloveyoumum"

As I drove away, I saw "that Mom".  You know the one.  Straightening her child's hair, making her sit on the front steps of the school - looking all Pollyanna.  The little girl's face was beet. [embarrassed].

It could be a lot worse my dear Peanut.

Happy Thursday!

?  ?  ?  ?  ?  ?   ?  ?   ?   ?  ?   ?    
Do you still "get invited" to take you kiddo to school?
Did you let YOUR parents walk you in?  Until what grade?

"It Takes Two" - Rob Base DJ E Z Rock

Everything is coming in two's over the last TWO days.
[where's all the 4's when you need them?!]

2 - # of sleep-overs Peanut has had in the last two nights.

2 - # in dozens of cookies that have been made.
2 - hours we spent planning our "luau" party yesterday.

2 - total number of food items [rice, pork]
2 - grass skirts purchased

2 - coconut bikini tops purchased
22 - minutes spent decorating
2 - pounds of pork butt we cooked to feed the four of us.  LUAU PORK. Holy. yum.

.2 - seconds after dinner was finished; it took for them to ask "Is it dessert time yet?"
2 - garbage bags needed for dessert
2 - scoops of ice cream

2 - happy girls building their creations

2 - confused looks when I said, "nope, no hands, no bowls, no spoons"

2 - seconds it took for them to totally welcome the idea.

2 - adorably messy faces

2 - times Pita said, "I can't believe you [clean freak] let them do that."

2 - shots Peanut got in her left arm yesterday.
2 - days until school starts
2 - dozen Healthy Bites I'll be receiving shortly [probably in two days] from this girl.
2 - night Pita IS "gone fishin' "
2 - days of [27 mile] pain free running.  LOVE my CEP brace.
20 - miles until I hit 2,000 miles for the year

Are things happening in two's for you?
or maybe four's [to make my day]?

Happy Two's-Day!!

"New Perspective" - Panic! At The Disco

What we see depends mainly on what we look for. ~John Lubbock

[feely post today . . . . . it's selfish . . . . it's for me to look back on from time to time]

I received a text from a dear friend of mine this afternoon.  I felt a smile come across my face just seeing her name appear on my phone.

She was "checking in" with me.
Asking how I had been.
Saying she missed seeing me.
What I had going on.
What was up next for me.

I told her. 

And

then asked the same of her. . . . . "How have you been?"

[Let me interject here and say . . . . if you even spent 2 minutes with this woman - - you would FEEL her strength.  She is not "wishy-washy" in anything she does.

Not. a. thing.]

She then told me in not so many words of an event that had recently occurred in her life.

I immediately had huge tears in my eyes.

Yes, I was sad with and for her. [for sure].  I told her this.  Asked if I could do anything & that I was here for her.

but

what moved me was her strength & her perspective.

 . . . . .

 . . . . . .

It's so easy to become discouraged.

Life, family, relationships, injuries, outside influences, etc.

but. our. individual. perspective. is. everything.

If the only tool you have is a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail. ~Abraham Maslow

YTB. JB.

Garage Sale or Bake Sale? Peanut!!!

 So bake sale or garage sale..... Which one would you choose?

My mom said that when she had a garage sale, she had only recieved $20.
I bet I could get more. I mean who couldn't deny this face?!?!?

I want to make money for Catalina Island, which is a trip that the 6th graders at my school take every year.


Exept, They didn't tell us it was $500-600!!!!!

I am so mad and I cannot lie.

I mean WHO COULD AFFORD THAT?!?!
I hate dislike these teachers.


And as if that isn't enough it's only TWO stinking DAYS LONG!!!!!

So what do you think?  Which way do you think I could earn more money from?


GARAGE OR BAKE SALE?

Put your vote in already!!!!!

What are you waiting for?!!?!!!


Hurry up!!!!!

Wasting daylight here!


PEANUT OUT.

"Opposite Of Adults" - Chiddy Bang

A few nights ago, Peanut and I found ourselves outside in 107* [but overcast - which we Arizona people LOVE].  We were "peppering".  Passing the volleyball back and forth.  I am loving all the progress she is making.  She asked that I hit a few balls at her so she can get used to balls coming more quickly at her.  [not always the lobbing back and forth].

Sadly.  My "take no prisoners" mantra managed to sneak it's way into playing with my daughter.  She was rocking it.  So I hit harder and harder and harder . . . . until I pegged her in the chest-ish region.

She. wasn't. so. impressed.

Me:  You ok? [laugh, laugh] Try to get a hand on it.  Anything - so someone can play it off you.
Peanut:  [looking not impressed]  Mom you just creamed me.
Me:  Sorry kid. [then I went on about.....as you get better...these things happen....it's okay . . .]
Peanut:  [pause] I think you and I both know NO ONE I'll be playing in the next two years will ever hit anything like that at me.
Me:  [feeling slightly proud , joke, joke] okay, your right.  But when they do -- you're all freaking over it!

Peanut:  [eyes getting big and red and..................here comes the tears]
Me:  sweetheart, I am so sorry.  I thought you were having fun [prior to the smack down]
Peanut:  I am Mom.  This isn't about how I can't breathe. [yep, her words]
Me: huh, what?

Then she let it all - ALL - out.

You see [as you may very well know] . . . I am reactive.
Peanut:  7 out of 10 times . . . .not so much.

She hears a lot. [like me on the phone or talking to other "adults"]
She internalizes even more.
She thinks she has to be strong - all the time.

T u r n s   o u t  . . . . a larger than smaller telephone "conversation" was over heard by her when - - I had thought she was outside.  [This was almost a month ago!  And just now she tells me.]  She did not get this skill from me.

Sitting there in the 107* grass with her, hugging her, answering her questions [trying to any way] . . . . . reminded me of why I love being a "Mom". 

The intensity of the love I feel for her.  The way I hurt when she hurts.  The tangible bond we share.  The losses we go through together.  The surprises we encounter [love surprises].  The joys we celebrate together.  The horrible dance moves we share.  ;)  The ability to love more - then more - then --- somehow ---- even more.

She still wants to talk to me.  Listen to me.  Cook with me.  Dance with me.  Read by me.  Sit by me.

And I freaking love it.
Because I want to do the same.

Life is bumpy, twisty, confusing & full of air-pockets. 

This day was no exception.  But it was one of the best days in my life.

We packed it in.  Walked inside.  Both with tears streaming down our crusty, sweaty faces.  She walks down the hall and . . . .  I'm overcome.

By her non-childlike behavior.  Her intensity.  Her beauty.  Her candor.  Her talents.  By her heart.

As a young mom [and young wife] I used to think that struggles equalled a failure to some extent.  But now I realize more and more each day that these struggles bring us together in a way a "perfect" life - never could.

To heck with looking like the "Jones's".  Being "Patty Perfect" , "Church-going Cathy" or "Homemaker Helen" .

My need, my want?
To continue on with my family, my girl - - - by MY side - - - for. FREAKING. ever.

Laughing
or
crying.

Doesn't really matter.

What does matter?

That we keep moving ahead with our "seat belts" fastened.
Because life ----

--- it's a freaking awesome, wild ride.

[and guess what? we've. freaking. got. this.]

"Peanut" - Quiztow

I have this awesome feature in my phone for "Notes".

No-I'm not the note-y type.  Lists = yes.  Notes = notsomuch.

But lately my "notes" have been taken over by a section I labeled, "Peanut Quotes" & "Peanutisms" .

[My girl at 2]
And finally,
I'm ready [and secure enough] to share. [you'll get that "secure" part in a bit].

1.  Mom, why do all the people in that aqua class have saggy arms?  It's like at church.  There are a lot of saggy arm people at church.

2.  When do I need to go see the Orthodentist?

3.  [while watching Pita's basketball game I said they had "thrown the ball away"]  . . Do they need me to go get it out? [of the trash].

4.  I wish we could go in the Senior Citizen Lane. [HOV lane].

5.  Mom, Dad just Haboobafarted!!

6.  [I eat ENTIRE sunflower seeds-yes, I'm lazy] . . . Mom, that will not feel good tomorrow.

7.  Mom, when you say "that's sick", it makes me feel sick.  Mom's can't say anything is "sick" unless it's their child.

8.  [sticks her head out the door while I'm running jogging fiercely in the pool]
Mom, Dad just text you saying you are "an emotiocon whore".  I told him to check his spelling.  [me...cracking up . . ."what?"]   He meant "emotiocon STORE", I told him he needed to buy the app [shuts door].

9.  I'm pretty sure you should not be letting me eat this for breakfast. [Ramen noodle cup] . . . don't judge.

My favorite . . .

10.  Do you like that your butt looks like that in that bikini?

That's.  My.  Girl.