Thursday, January 7, 2010

Name that caller

[Must start off by saying - I sooooooooooooo want one of these phones (again). I miss the days of forgetting what number I was on & having to start "all-over" again. Technology sucks. Sorry Matt.]

There's this little game the Pita and I play when ever my phone rings. [Granted it doesn't ring much - - as 75% of the time, I prefer texting but that doesn't mean the people who call me do! ]

So it goes like this:

ring - ring
Me: "what do you want? why aren't you texting?" - - [I mean, in my sultry voice],"hello"
Pita: [listens]
Me: [yadda, yadda, yadda]
5-8 seconds pass
Pita: [mouthing the word] "Shar"
Me: [golfing clap - head nod]
another point for the Pita.

Which cracks me up. I don't ever say their name. Never a reference to family or specific objects/times/places [not for the 1st 10 seconds - it's a rule]. and he's right - like 99% of the time. I always ask "how?", he says I "talk differently to different people". Unfortunately, for me, after my birthday came and went, I realized he's right. And unfortunately, for him, he's not all that smart, I just have like 6 different styles of talk. No, I'm not schizophrenic just love to try listen to each of the different voices in my head.

For example, there's the:

Nordstrom employee voice: every word MUST be said twice as fast as normal. must include at least 2 "awwweee's" every 2 minutes / "seriously" - every 20 seconds. / "OMGosh - yes - all of them, please" at least 3 times before hang-up. Must hang up by saying, "yea! thankyousoooomuchOKAYbye". Yes, you must say it fast it is one word.

Judi/Ashley: easy. When you never "talk", "live" to these people the first sentence is: "are you okay?" [unless they are in crazy need of something - they text].

Dad: easy. Starts off, "Hi!!", "Yea - she's good."

church: "oh that was tonight??" [sound confused] / [muffled, "crap"]

Those whom I strategically avoid: [click] "that's weird, no one's there!!?!"

The Pita's Mum: [high pitched] "Hey! How are ... yea, we are goo ... oh you first .." hate the flippin international call delay.

Ellie's little boy/friends who torment me: [try and sound mad] "ya, odd. Can't find her. call in 7 years."

Kim: "hellllllllllooooo, ummmm, you know you can text me, right?" heheheee

Mom: [sincere] "nice to hear your voice too!"

Cass: [laid back] / "hey lady, how the heck are ya?"

Neiman Marcus: "good to know. now, call me when you really have a sale."

Blocked: [scowl] / [silence] / [I refuse to talk unless you talk first.]

Is this normal?


Sarah said...

i like your blocked call response. i'll have to try that one.

amyraye said...

funny. we definitely have something in common: i hate talking on the phone. problem is, i hate texting, too. :0 e-mail is my preferred communication.

btw, i just realized this: does the Pita stand for P.I.T.A.? just wondering.

Emz said...

Sarah-yes! Try it - you'll like it! ;)

Amy-you cracked the code!!! I mean it [pita] very lovingly.